Gone with the Wind

I just returned from an military base version of the American trailer park.  In all seriousness, I am back in my tent and still am somewhat in shock and awe at what I witnessed.  I have never seen a more poorly planned, trash filled, supply skewering waste since I've been here.  Garbage and debris just strewn everywhere, lame attempts at storing and organizing supplies, hundreds of thousands of dollars of equipment and supplies dumped in piles and rendered practically useless.  This FOB should have been up on blocks in someone's front yard with 3 or 4 dogs chained to it and a bunch of diapered, dirty toddlers running around it in bare feet.  I don't know how we are going to make the existing portion work, but thankfully it's being expanded and that's shiny new land with no crap strewn around it ... yet.  Really, it looked like a frat house on Sunday morning.

So, the bulk of the day was spent walking the site with the surveyors and making notes of how everything is utilized and what's there that's not reflected on the most recent map.  Uhmm, the majority of the camp would go bye-bye if the ammo storage blew up, but I still attempted to sleep soundly just a few hundred yards from it.  More on that in a minute...  It was a long, hot day and we completed the last two hours in a sand storm.  Wow, was I exfoliated!  I am still cleaning dirt out of nooks and crannies and their nooks and crannies - it was amazing.  I also tried my best to walk around, observe and take notes with my eyes shut and mouth closed, but as you can imagine, that didn't work very well.  I also hate the feel of sand sticking to me, but I put my Howard Hughes tendencies in check and powered on.

Finally we had completed our task and everyone was bone tired.  I retired to our assigned lodging with the female surveyor - own rooms, mattress still partially covered in plastic, relatively cool inside - things were looking up and we thought we were the only 2 in the 4 room building.  Exhausted, I wasn't concerned about falling asleep until about 40 minutes after I laid down when the other tenant came home to roost.  If slamming doors, knocking things over and being a general pig were an art form, then I was rooming next to Picasso.  They way this woman sighed and heaved and threw herself around in her room, I would anticipate that she was roughly 500 lbs.  After an evening of her belching and eating bags of chips, sighing and stomping around, she finally decided to give her cardiovascular system a break and go to bed.  Right when I thought I might get just 2 or 3 hours of sleep, I realize she's taking the night train to Tootville.  All night, an auditorium I hope I never see, made less than beautiful music.  It was disgusting and just the perfect ending to a stellar day.

The next morning, the surveyor and i met up to wait for the helicopter and we couldn't even speak we were laughing so hard at how nasty that woman was - we were exhausted and overwhelmed by the whole experience.  She fit her environment perfectly, whomever she was - neither of us got a glimpse of the Scarlett O'Air-a of the FOB, but with a digestive system like hers, she could have powered her own plantation.  Tomorrow, a repeat performance at a new location but thankfully not an overnight - not that I have any control over that, so i always pack a toothbrush!  I hope all of you have a wonderful Holiday Weekend - I will be thinking about you while I am wondering around on a dusty FOB for hours tomorrow, crafting a plan for the space (and thinking about what I can spell...).

Drink of the Evening -  a peach tea to be enjoyed on the picnic table as the sun sets - pinkies up.

Road is a road is a road.

What an extremely busy past couple of days!  Things here are really picking up as the surge approaches and it's screwing up my fun - no gym, sleep or decent food lately and it's taking a toll my friends.  I would kill someone for fresh veggies that I had not seen earlier be touched by other's bare hands or the vacationing fly.  I feel like a slug and the heat doesn't help!  Maybe I simply am anxious to get out of this place for two entire weeks, but I've got to come up with a new program!

I really don't have anything new to add to the blog today.  After this past weekend's events, I am pretty much tuckered out but finally not so jumpy.  We have all been on edge a bit but it's getting back to normal here.  People are just astounded at what we've read on-line or lack thereof - the reporting was wildly inaccurate and downplayed the entire situation if it was even reported at all.  Really quite interesting and makes you wonder what's going on behind the scenes.  I am thankful, however, to know how the contestants are doing on Dancing with the Stars and that Kim Kardashian once used Botox - truly fascinating stuff.

I just realized that this weekend is Memorial Day Weekend!  At home, I really look forward to this weekend and the official beginning of summer.  Cookouts, fun with friends and family.  I don't know what they do here - maybe pretend it doesn't happen or something.  We work and then get paid extra, so I will celebrate that while vacationing in a few weeks.  I found myself greatly envying my friend here who has a horrible dental issue that is causing him great pain - he has to fly out for several days for dental treatment in Manas where he can drink the allotted 2 beers a day and even leave base to go into town!  Now that the coup is over in that country,  that could really be some fun!  I can't think of anything that's wrong with me to justify such a trip, but believe me I am thinking hard.  I hope I just didn't hex myself by typing that so I will try to correct any bad mojo by saying I am envious of a voluntary-or-minor-medical-issue trip out of here as everyday the possibility of something really nasty happening exists.  I would also like to go on record with the mojo gods by adding that I would not like malaria nor any poisonous bites.  This is kind of like a reverse Christmas list.

Tomorrow brings another trip off of base - if it's not cancelled as they have been quite often recently.  I am really anxious for this trip and looking forward to it.  I have been planning layouts of both bases without having seen them yet, so I am curious to see if what I am envisioning will work.  I'm getting pretty good at this so far and have even developed a kind of signature for my FOB design - now I know you may be expecting something spectacular that could possibly be seen from space, but that's a bit too fancy - and mature.  In addition to my unique approach to base layouts, I try to spell low-brow words with my roadways and building spacing.  Think back to the early days of the  calculator ... these are my little messages to the Taliban, but since they don't have planes (unless they borrow someone else's) they will never really enjoy my nuggets of insight spelled out in road.  Nothing says I Hate You, like "EAT ASS" in road (thank you hilly terrain).  This feat is made much easier by the fact that our land agreements rarely end up as squares or rectangles.  Enough said about that.  Oh yea, here's my new "international" number - hint; its written in "beghilos"...

Well, I hope you all have a wonderful Holiday weekend and get to enjoy and abundance of fruits an fresh veggies minus the Sally Struther's Army.  It is Memorial Day and therefore somewhat of a somber occasion, but still a 3-day vacation nonetheless!  I will be over here in the hero factory trying to do my small part while simultaneously day-dreaming of steaks on the grill.  I hope everyone has a safe and fun upcoming weekend!

Drink of the night - an Ice Coffee, minus the ice - but chilled in the fridge!

An Unusual Saturday Night

Hello all!  As many of you may know, or not, Kandahar Air Field was attacked last night for several hours.  I'm never sure what makes the news, but what I did see on-line did not even come close to what was going on here.  I'm certain that's purposeful and a combination of tactics to quell the Taliban and a decreasing focus domestically on this cluster-&%)#.  I don't mind saying that while outwardly calm, I was extremely freaked by what was happening.  I had an evening meeting with some military bigwigs to plan battalion placement for the surge - yes, it is interesting.  However, that meeting put me in a bad location when the rocket attacks started and they were exploding all around us - one as close as roughly 50 - 70 yards.  And yes, when things like that happen that close to you, your business end does pucker with fear!  The good thing was that I was the only civilian with about 20 armed military personnel, holed up in an incredibly hot, dark bunker for roughly 4 and a half hours.  Things were on fire, people running around with guns and threatening those who didn't identify themselves, the Bond-girl speaker alerts announcing "ground attack" and "serious situation", planes and helicopters overhead firing - it was really too much.  Then there would be a lull for awhile, followed by more rocket attacks.  The news said the Taliban was stopped from entering the base, but that's not what I heard from command which was more like perimeter breaches in at least 3 areas.  That was the most frightening aspect - them on the ground and within the base - it's so dusty and was even more so after the rockets and fires that there was no way they could have been easily seen.  So, finally we were allowed to leave the bunkers and head back - on top of all of it, I am also battling an intestinal issue that's been making it's way through our compound - that, combined with nerves and lack sleep  has made the Hillbilly one exhausted, sick puppy.  Thank goodness for a small library of horrible disaster movies!  I would be interested in what you hear there on the news - the most detailed information I found was in the European press reports.  So three, serious attacks in 1 week (and yes, Bagram was much worse than what was reported, but not as nasty as last night) - this is getting critical here.  Scary business here folks and today there's kind of a lock-down.  No leaving your area without  your helmet and kevlar vest.  Which is fine by me since I feel like poo and even my elbows and toes ache from this bug I have.  Thailand is in just a few weeks so that thought makes me feel a hundred times better!

This is short because I'm simply just really spent and run down.  Also kind of in disbelief at the events of last evening.  I am filthy, covered with a layer of dust and dirt after marinating in sweat for hours and crawling around in a bunker - and completely do not give a shit - tired and sick wins over impeccable hygiene today.  I hope you all are enjoying the weekend!  Be safe in all you do.

Drink of the Day - clear liquids and peptobismal