Ugly Babies

It's Sunday and therefore a relaxing day off.  This is made much nicer by the fact that it's no longer hot enough to burn the skin off your arms so I am actually tooling around the compound - doing laundry, enjoying a smoke, staring at the dirt, counting flies and killing large ants.  That got boring quickly so I'm back in the tent getting ready to enjoy some movies and a good read - but at least I have options!  They have been doing controlled explosions several times a day lately - every day - and it's getting old.  I think they detonate explosives they find, rockets that hit base and didn't go off and bombs they dropped during training that didn't explode.  They are also close enough to make the tent walls collapse and rattle you to the bone.  I simply don't even think the warning makes any difference - every time one goes off we all clench and jump.  And I wonder why I am so tired all the time...  As for our mission, one of the commanders I work with said that we are squeezing the Taliban "like a zit" around here so our mission is actually working.  This was after he told me that no longer being the Mayor of the FOB he and I were working on was like "watching someone else sleep with your wife" - my all time favorite though was when I heard the FOBs described as "ugly babies" with the "me wants" and that our job was to determine how much plastic surgery they needed - needless to say, I really like this guy and think he's funny as hell.  We truly do focus largely on how to get food into, and the poo out of, these FOBs so I guess they are like babies - big, ugly, nasty, angry babies.

By the way, a FOB Mayor is the big guy in charge of the FOB and runs the show - we work with the FOB Mayors and the senior command of the groups assigned to those FOBs - think National Geographic Channel and specials on rams butting heads to the death during mating season and you'll get some idea of what it's like working with guys at this level.  Thankfully I have retained a sense of humor because it gets quite dicey and not always a place for "nice ladies" during these planning meetings - Precious!

This week has not been too exciting - one helicopter ride out to a FOB, and moving office tents.  It feels like we're waiting for something but nobody can place what that something actually is.  I did enjoy an evening at the boardwalk last night and took in a hockey game, volleyball and rugby while waiting for my future prospective employer to arrive.  Looks like this gal will be planning parks for a few months in the near future and words cannot describe how hopeful I am that all works out with the details of this new contract.  When that is over, they are very certain that there will be other work for me with them here in lovely Afghanistinkistan or elsewhere.  Not only will the work be immensely interesting, but much more broad based so the boredom factor should be greatly reduced.  I have become quite adept at what I'm currently doing, which means I can do it faster and more efficiently - both of those attributes aren't necessarily good things here when you really need to pace yourself to fill the time.  So, my references will FINALLY receive a call (thank you in advance) and then the Hillbilly will be all about the green and tranquility of parks in Afghanistan.  Oh yea, the Wino will also be able to officially enjoy the fermented grape here too with this new position - they do not have to follow the rules that I currently must live by.  I will close this portion of the blog by saying that my interview started with my prospective boss wanting to sit somewhere she could smoke and the first story she told involved her indulging in a gin and tonic and something exploding - she had me at "smoke" and the gin and tonic story just sealed it.  Incredibly interesting person though and she's done some amazing work here, in the Congo and in Nepal - all for the same company.  Needless to say, I am hoping my future career looks like something similar.

Fatus babyus (a new species discovered by the Wino)

Lets see, thanks to my brother I totally kicked butt in points last weekend with Fantasy Football - excellent!  I'm slowly closing in on Team Who Dey, who is owned by my dear friend Mr. Greer - watch your back fella!  It still is strange to not enjoy any football which is my favorite sport that happens to occur during my favorite time of year.  Ms. Washella celebrated a birthday in London on Saturday(I just said that out loud in my best British accent) and another special person in my life turns 50 - yes, that's 50 - on Tuesday! (I used no accent with that one...)  Wow.  They are both older than me and therefore blazing that aging trail and doing it quite well.  Happy early Birthday Jewbilee - I think you will be hung over when you read this after your evening out with that dear gaggle of hags we love so much.

I hope everyone is having a great weekend and hopefully by the next time I post I will have some kind of official word on my new j-o-b!  Still have not been able to lure Quick Paws McGraw anywhere near me - I must be trying too hard. Until next time!

Drink of the Day - Sobe flavored waters!