Two for the Show...

First week back to work from any vacation is less than stellar, but first the week back here has been a combination of environmental assault, total boredom and yearning for all things green!  Coming back wasn't all that bad barring the minor discomfort of finding myself outside of the wire and temporarily not able to get back in.  However, my lungs, eyes and nasal passages are fighting every minute of it!  It's been so bad here that the sun wasn't even visible for the last four days.  Simply nasty weather in a nasty place and I had become rather fond of moisture in the air during my two week reprieve.  I fear my ongoing daily confrontation with my Kleenex as it holds the horrors of Afghanistan!  Body fluids aside, I am really missing the freedom to roam and of course the beautiful beaches, but that was to be expected.  Other than that, I have been incredibly bored, impatient and restless all week as I get settled back into my routine.  Fortunately, as is typical, it's all picking up quickly and simultaneously of course.  I have had the same trip out cancelled all week due to weather and it's finally leaving tomorrow morning for a quick day trip - to be followed by a about a week long venture out after that - to a place that I hope has more to offer now than port-a-johns.  We'll see if my planning efforts have paid off, as the idea of a port-a-john in 115 degree heat doesn't seem too appealing - but they have an abundance of ice cream there!  I need to get out of here soon before I develop any significant apprehension about flying - I haven't been out of here (except for vacation) for weeks and it's been long enough to make me paranoid about flying being that it's become so "active" over here this summer.  I'll get over it.

Big news!  A very good friend finally had her twins last week - I still can't believe it!  When I left, she was barely showing so it's strange to think of her with two little infants now.  She and her significant other will be excellent parental units and I'd like to extend a hearty congratulations to them!  That's double the poo and spit up, but it couldn't happen to better people.  Can't wait to meet the little guys either!  It's a child army.  Babies... I missed the maternal chip when they were handing those out and find them kind of scary.  I prefer them old enough to tell me what they need or at least point and scream - I still do that now and its pretty effective.  I do enjoy being an Aunt but have to be very careful of not being too much of myself around the childrenz - I have developed a second language so that my family and friends still will allow my around their offspring.  "that's a bunch of shittake" "sweet baby goats"  "Fred and Ethel!" all originate from much more sinister and inappropriate terminology, but you do what you have to do - the sacrifices I make for those kids - it's a pain in my "hoo hah".

I hear it's extremely hot and muggy back in the states - like forearm sweaty muggy!  Nasty stuff, but I still might consider that a trade up from here.  Close though - it stinks when it's too hot to even enjoy being outside.  I miss outside, on the river, with friends and icy beverages!  Happy Birthday to Kim and Lisa who are in the midst of birthday season!  Enjoy the Haufbrau and have one for me!  This has been one of the most boring posts yet, but I promise more blood and guts next time!

Drink of the Night - Rootbeer!

Back in Afghanistinkistan!

After much consideration of the repercussions related to not returning from Thailand, I reluctantly decided to come back to the ol' stink hole.  What a wonderful and relaxing two weeks - the best part was that it felt like a month and that's exactly how long I want a two week vacation to feel.  Really amazing place and we were fortunate to have seen so much of Phuket while still spending a huge amount of time in the pool and at the beach.  Here's a rundown of what we actually did peel ourselves away from lounge chairs to do -  day long yacht trip out to two beautiful and remote little islands to snorkel and walk around, the Jewbilee went to a Thai cooking school for a day, went to see the Big Buddha, elephants and a temple, adventurous night in Patong, hit two different beaches, did a beach BBQ and just a lot of strolling around, cocktails, eating and swimming.   I now fear I look like Buddha, but with hair. We saw many prostitutes and questionables while there and tons of fat, white old men which made me feel badly for the prostitutes.  The most interesting situation to witness were these fat old guys, or generally unattractive men, on dates or entertaining Thai "girlfriends".  Some of the women seemed engaged, but many sat around, scowled, played on their iPhones, etc.  How could that be any fun for either party?  But it was everywhere and we were thoroughly entertained by it.

We both arrived to each of our destinations safely and are preparing to once again be ensconced in our respective routines.  I had heard many speak of typical Dubai Arabs as the most rude, arrogant and nasty people around and I have to say that after two trips through Dubai, I would agree - I'd like to add that they have more children than old school Catholics (non of which are expected to behave) and are all around jackasses.  My flight from Dubai had about 70 screaming offspring of these people and about 50 on the way back.  They cut in line, ran over your feet with their suitcases, didn't think any of the airline rules applied to them but at least they smelled good!  They make the French look like boisterous, friendly Australians.  I still have the din of screaming kids in my ears.  One thing we learned is that no matter what the culture, all kids whine, run to the toy section, hit their siblings and scream on airplanes - it was truly educational.

The flight to Afghanistan was interesting to say the least.  I took an Afghan airline that landed at KAF but taxied to the Kandahar Airport right outside the wire.  This building was at one time quite regal, but was now bombed out, overgrown and austere.  My passport cleared the country but initially, I was not allowed back on base and was therefore technically an illegal alien.  I sat outside the airport, which meant outside the wire, the lone and unarmed American for about two hours while my friends tried to get me access back onto base.  Initially they wanted me to fly back to where I came from and then back on an airline that flies to, and remains on, KAF.  That would have been a huge pain seeing that there was nowhere to even buy a ticket or make an inquiry at the Kandahar Airport.  Plus I was tired, hot and a bit over this part of my trip. I was finally taken onto base by a British Royal Airforce MP who happened to see me out there and knew I was in potentially huge trouble.  He thankfully had been there on an unrelated issue and that was a huge stroke of luck for me.  Not a fun way to end a beautiful trip, but I'm now officially back and trying to catch up on sleep after a long trip in the comfort of my tent.  Returning wasn't so bad, but I don't have electric on my side of the tent so I'm depending on the kind use of an extension cord and neighbor's electric to power my computer!

Thank you everyone for so many good wishes for enjoyment on my vacation - very nice and greatly appreciated.  Now I will waste away the hours planning for my next one coming up in several months!  It's nice to return and see that half a month has passed too.  It was 115 degrees yesterday and to be even hotter today - I guess August is the hottest month and then things start to become more bearable.  After the heat and humidity in Thailand and Dubai, this doesn't even seem that bad - I guess I could actually live in Vegas year around seeing that now I know I can stand the heat!

Drink of the Day - sadly, back to the universal solvent - cold, cold water.