Sweet Baby Jesus - the A/C in my living quarters is out!! It's almost unbearable, but I do have cold things to drink and a bright and cheery attitude... I was in the middle of a tirade at the cruelty of nature and the failings of technology when there was a knock on the door and the HVAC guy appeared - armed, of course. It's so nasty and hot here that the wires in the unit have melted. Good Lord! If I don't move around too much I can almost stand it. The alternative is to sleep in the transient tent which is similar to sitting on the toilet seat at a Greyhound bus station - and most likely not going to happen. I will push on, but will definitely be sleeping on top of the covers tonight.
I received a wonderful box from the Kennedy clan today - full of great things that included a box set of some of the worst disaster movies ever made - they are so bad that they're brilliant and I am absolutely loving them. It's a collection of where your career ends up if you drink and drug too much, age poorly, don't sleep with the right people or any combination of the aforementioned. I've watched 2 of them so far and it's like the magic answer to "what ever happened to so-and-so" ... Judd Nelson, Kim Delany, Dean Cain ... well played Kennedys! There were some Shirley Temple classics included as well which will be a fabulous compliment to the disaster films. Fabulous! I am going to enjoy these all night, complete with the popcorn you sent and lay here in my oven of a room, wondering how Beau Bridges ended up in one of these films.
So today, I may have mentioned, was hot - if I could take a picture of heat I would, just so that I could post it here. It was also very busy and disorganized as things are with military endeavors - I was just about to pull a "Daddy went out for cigarettes and never came back" when we began to discuss how to make the summer here more like it would be at home. For example, how do we procure meat to throw on the grills that are right outside of our work tents? What could we scrounge to concoct a marinade? Can you find a cooler and if so, where can we find ice? How many fake beers does it take to get a slight buzz? I'm certain that if I had a prisoner pen pal that I could answer every single one of these questions. "How I spent my summer" projects - and poker - just might be the key to dealing with what is shaping up to be an HVAC-melting next few months. An active imagination is a wonderful thing and those of you who know me well, know that I can imagine myself out of almost anything - I can also make the best out of almost any situation - additionally, sarcasm and brazen ignorance have gotten me far and I hope can continue to keep me afloat. Right now I'm imagining how much worse it would be to be forever associated with the film "10.5 Apocalypse" than risking heat exhaustion in Afghanistan!
Now for a few events deserving of a shout out. Happy Birthday tomorrow Deirdre and I hope it's a good one! One more week Ang and your nemesis will have moved out while you move on - cue the happy music! Also, congratulations to Mary and Brad on their recent nuptials! I hope everyone is doing well and enjoying the season change. Tomorrow is Bazaar day and I'm planning on making the most of it. Enjoy the weekend!
Drinks of the night - cold water, green tea, cold fake beers, Chrystal Carrington Light (cold) and an ice pack.
Friday, May 21, 2010
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Heat Miser
It's War! My sinuses, and those of my co-workers, have declared war on the country of Afghanistan! In an area that's largely beige, it's amazing that there would be anything to actually inflame one's sinus cavities - but it's brutal! There's also the malaria issue - where do the mosquitos come from because there's no water visible to anyone. These are issues that will most assuredly remain a mystery. It was 114 degrees today and it's only May. If you are wondering what 114 degrees is like, well it's soul-sucking heat - but thankfully dry heat. It's almost hot enough to suck the air out of your lungs, but it will get hotter! I cannot wait to see what 120 is like ... Everyone was sick today and I think it was all heat related. It's been around a 100 for a few weeks, but today was different and you could see it in how everyone looked and moved. Thankfully, my trip today was postponed so I was spared walking around for hours in the sun. Tomorrow though, is another day and another trip, so I doubt I will be so fortunate twice.
The other interesting issue is that we are hitting around the 4 month mark of our contract - I'm only at 3, but many others are at 4. This is the magic number mark - the point of no return - the I-can't-take-it-anymore stage of this year long adventure. There's obviously a good reason that so many contracts have generous leave benefits (not ours) and every 4 months, there comes a 2 week R&R. It's because you hit your absolute limit of deprivation at 4 months. I know I can feel it starting - whatever you do to make this work begins to wear thin and not work so well anymore. You start thinking too often about your family, friends, significant others - your home, bed, cooking, wine, pets, what it's like to roam freely, walking to the bathroom in your bare feet, how free time feels, an entire night's sleep, no sound of gunfire or rocket sirens ... the list goes on and on. I even miss driving - on paved roads that is. I was sitting yesterday waiting for my flight and I was in an area where I could actually see traffic drive by - I felt like a cat who finally accessed a window - it was a whole other world than what I see day in and day out - which is basically tents, dirt, and vast stretches of sniper-cover along the fences - which means that I see nothing but a green tarp that covers the fencing. We are enclosed in it and located at a remote corner of the base - there are tons of things around you, but you don't see it unless you leave the compound. I've become a bunker monkey because of it - I climb things constantly just to see something bigger than where I am.
Today was much calmer around here than the last couple. I think the edge caused by all of the attacks has softened and people were more focused on being consumed by the heat than being attacked. I am hoping the A/C holds up and am thankful it's finally night time and therefore cooling down just a little. I saw that it was a perfect 75 at home today ... as I like to tell my Mother ... it all seems overwhelming at times and then I look at my checkbook... I can be hot and go without! When you are on the FOBs and directly with the troops who are actually out in the middle of the bullshit, you quickly get over yourself and all of your perceived hardships. On my worst day here I live better than 98% of this country's population - and most of the infantry! And - there's ice cream.
Drink of the night - a cold fake beer, in honor of the real one I'm going to be enjoying in about 6 weeks!
The other interesting issue is that we are hitting around the 4 month mark of our contract - I'm only at 3, but many others are at 4. This is the magic number mark - the point of no return - the I-can't-take-it-anymore stage of this year long adventure. There's obviously a good reason that so many contracts have generous leave benefits (not ours) and every 4 months, there comes a 2 week R&R. It's because you hit your absolute limit of deprivation at 4 months. I know I can feel it starting - whatever you do to make this work begins to wear thin and not work so well anymore. You start thinking too often about your family, friends, significant others - your home, bed, cooking, wine, pets, what it's like to roam freely, walking to the bathroom in your bare feet, how free time feels, an entire night's sleep, no sound of gunfire or rocket sirens ... the list goes on and on. I even miss driving - on paved roads that is. I was sitting yesterday waiting for my flight and I was in an area where I could actually see traffic drive by - I felt like a cat who finally accessed a window - it was a whole other world than what I see day in and day out - which is basically tents, dirt, and vast stretches of sniper-cover along the fences - which means that I see nothing but a green tarp that covers the fencing. We are enclosed in it and located at a remote corner of the base - there are tons of things around you, but you don't see it unless you leave the compound. I've become a bunker monkey because of it - I climb things constantly just to see something bigger than where I am.
Today was much calmer around here than the last couple. I think the edge caused by all of the attacks has softened and people were more focused on being consumed by the heat than being attacked. I am hoping the A/C holds up and am thankful it's finally night time and therefore cooling down just a little. I saw that it was a perfect 75 at home today ... as I like to tell my Mother ... it all seems overwhelming at times and then I look at my checkbook... I can be hot and go without! When you are on the FOBs and directly with the troops who are actually out in the middle of the bullshit, you quickly get over yourself and all of your perceived hardships. On my worst day here I live better than 98% of this country's population - and most of the infantry! And - there's ice cream.
Drink of the night - a cold fake beer, in honor of the real one I'm going to be enjoying in about 6 weeks!
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
There's Something in the Air...
Good Day! Things have been a lit-tle crazy around here the last day or so and I'm thankful I still have an internet connection. Our access to the outside can get quite limited when things heat up around here. A friend emailed me the news article about the bombing in Kabul yesterday and then last night during my meeting a rocket hit down the street and took out a laundry facility. This morning it was an attack on Bagram and then I flew this afternoon to a small outpost in Kandahar that was attacked a few days ago. What's so crazy is that there's no point in worrying because it's seriously a case of wrong place, wrong time around here. There's nothing to avoid so there's little ability to "be safe." The randomness is what makes it so unsettling. They literally leaned a motorbike against the wall of the outpost and blew it up and the rest of them scurried through the hole like rats ... and were promptly exterminated. It's the number of issues in such a short time period that has everyone so on edge - weird vibe around here today. But as long as CNN continues with reports of the exact number of checkpoints and outposts we're planning in Kandahar City, the better prepared they will be in attacking us there (here is Kandahar City from the air).
On a different note, I am happy to report that rudeness, arrogance and myopic vision exist with equal fervor in both the military and corporate world. I sit in decision-making meetings where I am utterly amazed at the bureaucratic nonsense. This, thankfully, is tempered by the many seriously funny people I attend these with - last night, one of my favorite people here did his impersonation of the Afghan version of Rick James he had recently encountered at a check point. He did the Dave Chappel, "I'm Rick James, Bitch" but in Pashto and I thought I was going to have a heart attack from trying not to laugh. I guess you had to be there, but it was incredibly entertaining. This was during a 3 and a half hour meeting, after a 12 hour day, and a hit-the-deck during the meeting because of the rocket attack that landed just down the street. You enjoy all the levity you can after days like that. These can get so long, boring and stressful that you have to find ways to entertain yourself. I like to people watch which led to noticing several strong candidates for heart bypass operations - you know the look... purple faced guys, with guts that resemble two large animals participating in a cage fight. All I can say is that the meeting was educational on many different levels and I left with concern for several of the attendees!
The recent tone of the Hillbilly Wino has been one that points - desperately - to the author needing a good, long vacation. I am hoping with all the energy I can muster, that Thailand gets itself together in time for my arrival. As long as the airport stays open I will be happy - I hate to admit that not only does the unrest there pale to what goes on here, but I am also totally not caring about the political and social reasons behind it - I just want to enjoy the beach, food and many beverages. Does that make me a horrible person? Probably- and also very out of character for me. I hope the experience here isn't changing me for the worse!
I was at a small post in Kandahar today and in the middle of all the crumbling buildings was this beautiful rose garden that one of the Afghan residents had planted and was tending. Many of the bases and posts are joint coalition bases so the Afghan troops - and often their families - live there too. In every single one I've been to, there's been a beautiful garden of some sort - kind of a reminder of what the country used to look like before all of the war, the Taliban, the Ruskies, etc. It's amazing what a little greenery can do to improve one's outlook! The Wino will be taking the show on the road for the next several days, but will post again as soon as possible - and hopefully something more uplifting and "light". Until then, let's hope things don't get too out of hand around here. These outposts also have real ice cream for some reason, which is a HUGE big deal in this heat - and tasty too. It's always exciting to have something good to anticipate and I'm anticipating...Strawberry Cream! I hope you all have a wonderful remainder to your week.
Drink of the night - peach flavored tea mix in my bottled water...
On a different note, I am happy to report that rudeness, arrogance and myopic vision exist with equal fervor in both the military and corporate world. I sit in decision-making meetings where I am utterly amazed at the bureaucratic nonsense. This, thankfully, is tempered by the many seriously funny people I attend these with - last night, one of my favorite people here did his impersonation of the Afghan version of Rick James he had recently encountered at a check point. He did the Dave Chappel, "I'm Rick James, Bitch" but in Pashto and I thought I was going to have a heart attack from trying not to laugh. I guess you had to be there, but it was incredibly entertaining. This was during a 3 and a half hour meeting, after a 12 hour day, and a hit-the-deck during the meeting because of the rocket attack that landed just down the street. You enjoy all the levity you can after days like that. These can get so long, boring and stressful that you have to find ways to entertain yourself. I like to people watch which led to noticing several strong candidates for heart bypass operations - you know the look... purple faced guys, with guts that resemble two large animals participating in a cage fight. All I can say is that the meeting was educational on many different levels and I left with concern for several of the attendees!
The recent tone of the Hillbilly Wino has been one that points - desperately - to the author needing a good, long vacation. I am hoping with all the energy I can muster, that Thailand gets itself together in time for my arrival. As long as the airport stays open I will be happy - I hate to admit that not only does the unrest there pale to what goes on here, but I am also totally not caring about the political and social reasons behind it - I just want to enjoy the beach, food and many beverages. Does that make me a horrible person? Probably- and also very out of character for me. I hope the experience here isn't changing me for the worse!
I was at a small post in Kandahar today and in the middle of all the crumbling buildings was this beautiful rose garden that one of the Afghan residents had planted and was tending. Many of the bases and posts are joint coalition bases so the Afghan troops - and often their families - live there too. In every single one I've been to, there's been a beautiful garden of some sort - kind of a reminder of what the country used to look like before all of the war, the Taliban, the Ruskies, etc. It's amazing what a little greenery can do to improve one's outlook! The Wino will be taking the show on the road for the next several days, but will post again as soon as possible - and hopefully something more uplifting and "light". Until then, let's hope things don't get too out of hand around here. These outposts also have real ice cream for some reason, which is a HUGE big deal in this heat - and tasty too. It's always exciting to have something good to anticipate and I'm anticipating...Strawberry Cream! I hope you all have a wonderful remainder to your week.
Drink of the night - peach flavored tea mix in my bottled water...
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