Surf's Up...soon :)

Sunrise

View from condo

As I sit in my beachfront condo, enjoying the sounds of the ocean, sauteing garlic and onions for my pasta dish and sipping on red wine, I am amazed at how much a week in the Wino's life can change.  Last Saturday I was in the Kabul airport waiting to fly to Dubai and wondering if leaving a well paid job - that I hated - was going to be me my undoing.  I still don't have the answer to that question, but to say that I'm glad to be out of Afghanistan is an understatement!  After 26 hours of flying and being in airports, I finally arrived - sweaty, tired and with a cold - in the lovely Dominican.  There was even a little mariachi band to greet us as we walked through the airport.  I'm not here in high season, so there weren't many people on the plane which meant I got through quickly, was picked up and taken to this lovely little beachfront condo.  There couldn't be a place more different then where I have been living the past 18 months.  It's lush, humid, and right on the water - tons of flowering plants, palm trees (and bugs, but I'm getting used to those) and no burkas or anyone making doodies on the street - as far as I can see.

My flight from Dubai included a middle seat in between two enormous men - the hotel was kind enough to drop me off at the arrivals area so I had to haul all of my luggage and myself to the correct departure terminal in the unbelievable Dubai humidity and heat - therefore, the refreshing shower I had just taken before my long journey was utterly useless and I was as sweaty as a whore in church to begin my trip out of there.  So, I can't complain too much about being smooshed between to massive guys, since I was most likely not making a positive contribution as the sweaty middle seat person that they were sticking to.  To say it was uncomfortable would be an understatement and still wouldn't fully describe my 15 hour plane trip, but I was too excited about leaving to really care.

Goodbye Dubai!

So I arrived with one of those plane-colds and I was jet-lagged and exhausted.  I opened the sliding glass doors and took it all in - beautiful!  I love how the ocean smells and managed to take a nice long stroll on the "ocean's liver" as I like to refer to the sandy, sandy beach.  Cleaning and straining all the whatnot from the ocean.  My favorite time is early in the morning - it's like the ocean had a big night out and has coughed up everything it doesn't want in its system anymore.  Seaweed, coconuts, wood, seashells and these weird little hard jellied balls - what a par-tay!  I love it.   Fortunately, I'm not on a cruise ship channel and therefore do not need to be appalled at beach garbage from the ships.  Just me, the ocean hang-over and my little bag for collecting sea shells.

I'm so twisted from the time change that I've been waking up at 1:30am, then 2:30, etc. - I seem to be catching another hour every day.  I see some amazing sunrises because of it, but it hasn't made me much of a late night Hillbilly so far. I'm also not in much need of shoes while outside and am establishing a wonderful natural pedicure routine with the beach walks. Just walking, for hours, is a treat because I've been so confined for such a long time.  I did lose a couple of days being down and out from a terrible cold - my condo is "Balinese Style" which apparently implies no air-conditioning.  That's been a huge adjustment since I came from desert heat and am now dealing with high humidity, two days with a fever - and I had a rough first night with the mozzies that bit the hell out of me as I festered on the couch with my cold.  Nothing that two cans of lavender scented bug spray couldn't cure AND a roll of tape that I found to cover the gaps in the windows and screens.  Imagine that little home project with Kleenex stuffed up my nose because it was running so bad, sneezing and sweating like a hooker on Georgia asphalt (yes, I love my prostie references). 

morning view from the kitchen/LR

There's a thriving bug business here in the Dominican.  Fortunately, I just came from the land of rats, mice, ants, scorpions and Sally Struthers flies - which is actually a blessing because I am not freaking out as much over the roaches - not Palmetto bugs, but actual roaches - ants and spiders ( the Wino HATES spiders).  Once again, my two best friends - cans of bug spray - have helped me get things under control and I am just getting used to it.  I don't have an infestation by any means, but am not used to the tropical area yet and am laying down the law with my chemical six-shooters.  The bugs and I just need to come to an understanding that we can live in harmony, but I have my damn limits.  I am paying rent - they are not - but all is working out nicely so far.  I pour myself a glass of wine and serve them an Ortho cocktail - see, it's harmony!  The lizards can stay and I have no opinion on the dragonflies, other than I like them...

love it!

Kite Boarders

circus/surf school next door

This place is beautiful - every morning I have a whole wall of windows that open to the deck and overlooks the beach that I am only about 50 feet from.  Everywhere I sit, I see the beach and it's doing a soul some good.  I catch myself just sitting here watching it while doing absolutely nothing.  I'm in Cabarete and on Kite Beach - this is apparently a world renown Kite Boarding beach so there are a few schools next to me and every day there are tons of beautiful kites floating by my windows as they surf from right in front of my pad.  I hang out back on this little deck patio that's right on the beach and watch them for hours - totally entertaining as they encompass experts to beginners - I see as much huge air kiting as I do people being kind of dragged through the water.  I begin my Paddle Board Surfing classes on Monday with Maui John - that should be interesting, but it looks like a ton of fun and one of my favorite things is to watch the paddle boarders out on the ocean in the mornings.  I can't wait to be one of them, although I have a feeling I'll initially not be seeing too much of the top of my board until my balance is on track.  I do need something to do in addition to finding a job and this seems to be something I can focus on and practice - in between drinking wine, staring into space, walking on the beach, killing bugs and working on my Spanish. 

I'm adjusting to the incredibly uptick in my lifestyle and it's truly an adjustment.  The absence of all the adrenaline is weird and I find that I'm really, totally exhausted.  I'm still jumpy and startle at loud noises, but I'm improving. My better half shows up next week for a 3 week visit and during that time my bestie will also be here for a week - I absolutely cannot wait.  I will be in excellent, calm and caring company - who could ask for more than that?! By then I should be totally adjusted to the time and have most of my quirks and kinks worked out (well, you know, the ones that aren't part of my actual personality).  Who wants to be with a tightly wound, impatient, twitchy asshat - not I and I'm certain they will both enjoy the more laid back Wino.  I am quickly putting Afghanistan behind me and hope, hope, hope I do not have to go back there for work.  Trust me, I am avoiding all Afghanistan applications, but once people find out you were there, that's where they want you to go since so many won't work in that shithole.  Just typing the name of that country makes my jaws clench!  I would love to actually be home with my partner-family-friends, but the tax man cometh if I show up before my tax year ends, so I will be forced to stay in this ugly place until then - or a new job begins!  I will be a tanned, relaxed and paddle surfing Hillbilly by the time I leave this place.  Hope everyone is enjoying their weekend!

Drink of the night - wine, and then some Dominican Rum with an assortment of juices

Eat, Play & Surf

Well it's certainly been an eventful past few weeks.  In addition to not being able to sign into Blogger, I've also been enjoying the fruits of a tyrannical, micro-managing, conniving, passive-aggressive project management twosome who've made my life and job extremely difficult.  The beauty of reaching your middle years is that you realize that life is too fleeting to tolerate a very short-list of situations or issues.  This would be one of them.  To begin with, I cannot do my job to the best of my abilities and that drives me crazy.  It's nearly impossible to manage projects and programs when a). nobody asks or listens to your input (which you've been hired to contribute) which then results in pursuing bad projects in the wrong way and you ultimately being blamed for it, b). having the big boss meddle in every microcosm of the process thus creating 3 times the work because he basically won't admit he doesn't know what he's doing, c). the bosses unofficial second in command going out of his way to circumvent your project planning timeline by doing everything from changing due dates and deliverables to making sure that you are not included in key meetings... that's my short list and I think you get the point.  Plus the "big boss", who's actually an insecure, short, Irish guy with a failed political career bid behind him, likes to scream in people's faces.  I've taken to calling him "Teflon ----" because none of his bad decisions or misdirections ever seem to stick to him. 

So - this situation is one that the Wino can't function within.  The Hillbilly has tendencies towards being a Type A, but usually pretty laid back - combined with a short fuse and the need for a good deal of creativity - and is almost incapable at this point in life, of dealing with these types of situations.  I had one really seriously bad and abusive employment issue which involved working for the Mayor of Toledo.  I had one other  more recent issue that involved having to deal with a total asshat who was also a conniving, useless POS.  For some reason, due to the hard work of others, had been given a big title but this person was totally incapable of handling the job - however personally thought they were fabulous.  I don't think Wharton offered a degree in what that person was actually good at doing...  Both of those were US jobs, but while here it's been pretty good until now.  Two idiots (now 3) out of a 25 year working history is still damn good!  The odd thing is that after all of the hard living conditions, dangerous situations, jaw breaking stress and just being in Afghanistan, it takes just conflicts of personality/management style to finally get me to leave this place.  So I'm leaving this job and leaving Afghanistinkistan!

The Hillbilly is without any employment, but doesn't care right now, and must avoid the tax man until February of 2012.  So I'm doing my own version of Eat, Pray & Love in the Dominican Republic for at least 2 months - my version is less spiritual and most likely will be more ornery, but will certainly influence the desired outcome of a more relaxed and healthy Wino.  By day, I plan to learn Stand Up Paddle Surfing - which should be great because I'll be living right on the beach.  By night, I will be looking for j-o-bs.  The end result should be the version of me that existed prior to my little adventure here in Afghanistan.  At this point, I feel totally unhealthy, stressed to the max, out of shape and not as positive about life in general as I usually am.  Plus, I could have worms from eating here, so that will be the first thing on my agenda - to be dewormed!  The Hillbilly Wino blog will continue, but you can expect surf reports and descriptions of life in the Dominican Republic which will hopefully not include explosions or too much gunfire.  It will be a different kind of "excitement" and one that involves the development of my infantile Spanish skills, shorts, sandals, local beer and a SUP Board.  I'll just be a Hillbilly on the beach.  Although I'm worried about the employment situation, right now I'm more excited about achieving a dream that involves living on a Caribbean Island - at least for 2 months, but it may be longer if I can't find work.  My other half and partner in all things, who should be canonized as a Saint for putting up with me - but is Jewish, so the Saint part won't happen - will be joining me for 3 weeks in the DR to share in part of the Caribbean dream.  Good times!

So, I'm skeedaddlin' and fly from Dubai on the 5th.  I have enjoyed the majority of the people I work with - both the expats and the Afghan staff.  I have a particular affinity for our guest house cleaning and laundry crew.  I don't know why, but I simply adore these 3 women.  Maybe its because they have the hardest lives and toughest jobs - I think all 3 are widows and this is their only means of support.  Maybe it's because there are few things worse in the world than being an Afghan woman.  Who knows, but I always take the time to tell them hello or find someone to translate my thank-yous for doing my laundry so nicely and cleaning my room so well.  They range in age from late 30s to somewhere in the early 60s. The don't speak English and I don't speak Dari, but they will have long conversations with me anyway - and I will sit there, listen and try to understand.  The only English they know, and say to me often, is "we like you" and "I love you".  One of them gave me a hand embroidered handkerchief and for some reason just loves her some Hillbilly.  Yesterday I think she was trying to warn me of something, but I don't know what - it may have had to do with being outside on the 3rd floor balcony and very visible, but I have avoided sitting out there ever since and that seems to have made her happy.  Today I gave them beautiful scarves to wish them a happy Eid holiday and thank them for taking such good care of me - when I was able to communicate through a guard that I was leaving, two of them cried and it just about broke the old Wino's shriveled, cold lump of a heart.  I'm leaving to face employment uncertainty, but doing it on a Caribbean island and these women remain, working their fingers to the bone, within a country and culture that have a long way to go in appreciating them.  Life is certainly what you make it and mine has certainly been a good one - great family, friends and partner - but it makes you wonder if a significant part of the "goodness" is just the luck of where you are born.  Who knows, and that will give the Wino something to think about on the beach. 

So, the next posting you read will be from the good ol' DR - on to the next adventure!  Lets make some memories, folks!

Drink of the day - some weird beer (Russian) that I cannot read nor pronounce, but it's good and in a can!

Home is where your Temperpedic pillow is!

What a crazy and eventful past two weeks its been.  Finally arrived in Mazar to begin the new job.  There seem to be great people on this project - barring one - but she was just forced to resign.  More on that later.  Still no official word on the future of the project, but we are moving forward with a greatly reduced staff.  I spent the first two weeks in what I'll refer to as the "ghetto villa" - old, dirty, a mattress of torture and a shared, nasty bathroom with a less than considerate young guy - and it smelled like the monkey house at the zoo.  The whole place did thanks to old plumbing and sewer gas coming up through the drains.  Not much to write home about when the day ended and I came back to my room.

However, the upside here is plentiful.  A market we can visit and shop for groceries and other necessities, a few restaurants we can patronize, alcohol available for purchase (but at greatly inflated prices) and the city is green and beautiful!  The first week I was here I attended a cookout at a German organization's house - it was attended by many people from different UN organizations, the ICRC and other NGO's.  Really fun and tons of interesting people just hanging out and enjoying food and drink.  There was also a house dog and a few bossy kitties wandering around which was great.  They have these elevated platforms here with small railings around the edges and usually some kind of cover or roof on the top.  The platform is covered with pillows and you just lounge around on them, smoke the Hookah (the apple is my favorite flavor) and chat - I think I need one of these on my deck when I finally return home.  I love them - have no idea what it's called, but they had a similar setup in the cafes in Turkey.  Lounge Lizard!  We have one here and other than a few mosquito bites, it's really fun in the evening.

I made my first journey to the city of Aybak my first week to discuss their park project - how convenient for me to have planned parks for 2 short months - really coming in handy.  Interesting meeting and I had a media camera in my face the whole time.  I also have finally had to cave and now wear a headscarf to these meetings.   A real experience - they trap the heat, you have limited peripheral vision and they make me feel like an old gypsy woman for some reason - think old horror movies and the gypsy caravan... I had it going on, except for the requisite facial mole and crystal ball... "leeet meee warn yoouu (cue the howling in the background) about de fun-diing of de prooojeeect."  I was a sweaty, hot mess and when you have the meetings with the big guys, it's very formal and somewhat intimidating - and it's hot as hell here right now.  They sit across a very large room and the discussions occur through an interpreter - lots of pregnant pauses and much more being said than is ever translated.  Plus they always serve you hot tea, most likely with local water, and you better drink it and worry about potential intestinal problems later.  I couldn't wait to get that damn thing off my head, jump into my gypsy caravan wagon and skedaddle into the sunset.  On the way there and back we drove through the most beautiful area I have ever seen here - the Kholm Pass - reminded me of the landscapes in the American west.  Stunning.

This week we finally moved into our gorgeous guest house!  I am on the 3rd floor, with a beautiful view of the  mountains from my private balcony.  Seriously, I am living in such a nice place (finally) that I forget I'm actually in Afghanistan.  With the comfy room, beautiful house and grounds, freedom of movement and my own bathroom, I often have to remind myself where I am these days.  We did have a bicycle bomb a few days ago and that was a gentle reminder to watch out.  Tomorrow I leave for Kabul for a couple of days of training and as luck would have it, two of my favorite past co-workers will be there as well - we plan to meet up for dinner.  See - kind of normal right now!

I thought I would devote the end of this quick post to a collage, if you will, of all the places I've lived since I've been here.  Quite interesting and I cannot believe I managed to deal with some of these places - I'm telling you it makes a world of difference to begin at the bottom and work your way up.  I've met people here who would never consider living in a tent or a plywood hut with no windows.  When I decided to come here and work, I just did it.  Just did it... and now looking back I'm amazed because it was hard, and tough, often unpleasant, frequently frightening, often boring but also one of the most exciting things I've ever done - so far!  I think I'm blessed with the bliss of ignorance and the willing to make the best of almost anything - but more importantly, a phenomenal other half, family and group of friends.  Trust me when I say that this was only made possible by having the support network I do.  So, enough of reflection and sweetness - here's the walk down my housing history in Afghanistan.  I so wish I would have taken pictures of the bathrooms, because that's where the real personal fortitude comes into play - most of them were either disgusting, a hike from where I was living or a combination of both.  On rare occasions have they been tolerable.  Enjoy!


My first "home"

My small space - arrived at 3am in a rain storm with a flashlight

the muddy road in front - had to walk over a mile each way to work every day.  Bathrooms - disgusting!

Ghazni - 3 weeks here at Polish Camp

My home for 6 months at KAF

KAF, small 8 x 10 room - and mice

But the bathrooms were great!

broken ankle in tent room - not fun - beer, fake

New job - Hotel Kandahar, 2 months

Office compound and some favorite co-workers - didn't take a pic of my room

My room at hotel - not bad at all!

Hotel Kandahar courtyard

my container at KPRT in Kandahar - had an 8 x 10 side and had to share - not great - also on the perimeter wall, but I had a pet cat - Lt. Dan

My fabulous room in Mazar!

nice room at FOB Wilson - HORRIBLE port-o-john!

View from my balcony

patio at FOB Wilson

the balcony!

and... drum roll... my own, clean, sunny bathroom!

After looking at these pictures, I realize that I've been living like a turtle with my house on my back - I've carted my stuff all over this country!  I've also tolerated a variety of vermin, flies, scorpions and snakes.  Finally, I'm in a really nice place and hoping the contract lasts, I can do my year here in comfort, the work remains interesting and the co-workers fun!

And the best part... Drink of the Night - an Italian red wine, purchase legally!  Pinkies up!

Vacation Vocation

Weeellll.  This has so far been one hell of a week.  Unbelievable, but true.  Finally I made it out of Kandahar on the 29th, but not after a nine hour delay.  I waited around the hot, dusty PAX terminal on base with a myriad of young soldiers waiting to fly home for their leave.  Originally, I was to leave at 1pm and would have been placing that delightful hotel key card into the slot of my room around 4pm - by 9pm, still at PAX, I was trying to stifle a homicidal rage at both the fact that I was still in Afghanistan and that I also lost a day at the hotel I had already paid for.  I made it finally and that key card gained me access to my room at midnight - disappointed, but I was finally here!  The sound of the ocean, smell of something other than dirt and filth and actual moisture in the air was a welcome relief.

camels on the beach

self explanatory - the Palm Island is right in front of you!

view from my balcony

favorite pool and swim-up bar

My first day in Dubai was glorious - waking up in a pillow top, king size bed, walking out on my balcony to enjoy a hot cup of tea in the morning, a few hours at the pool (and pool bar), then a mani, pedi and much needed haircut at the salon.  Capped the afternoon by a walk on the beach, beautiful filet mignon for an early dinner and I was fully and totally committed to the week of relaxation I had ahead of me.  The pool and beach were interesting - body image in other countries is very different than that of the average US citizen.  The whole range from the genetically gifted to some very large Russian and British men (many in Speedos), more back hair than I've ever seen in one sitting thanks to the Arabs and two-pieces on women no matter what their size.  Quite interesting people watching.  It was so hot that your knees were sweating which made the pool and pool bar so much more fun.  I was amazed at watching all of the Muslim women in full black dress, walking on the beach and resort grounds.  Incredibly hot and muggy - so much so that the sea water was as warm as the outside - you could hardly tell that you were even wet - weird sensation!

View from my room window in Kabul

Then... I checked my email... a note from my new employer informing me that the funding for our project is suddenly under review and that I might need to stay in Dubai indefinitely (at their expense) until they had more information.  After a few exchanges of information, the picture looked bleak and I had no idea what would happen, job or no job, project or no project - only that I was in a strangely exotic location, trying to relax and hadn't even made it 24 hours until I was blindsided with some potentially horrific news.  And, it was the Thursday before a holiday weekend so no more info until the next week.  However, I was supposed to leave the following Thursday the 7th, so I made up my mind to try to relax and enjoy myself.  I did a pretty decent job other than totally being convinced that I had dislocated my jaw while sleeping thanks to doing so with my jaws massively clenched - the jury is still out on that one, but I can hardly open my Hillbilly cake hole and it's really painful to chew.  Still no news by the eve prior to my original departure date thanks to the time change, so I literally woke up Thursday morning to an email that said I was flying to Kabul, but that the project was still up in the air.


So here I am - in Kabul, which I've never flown into but its a civilian, not military airport.  Had to hunt my luggage down after waiting for it for over an hour.  A kind employee had it in his "office" - actually, he'd taken my luggage in hopes of collecting a finders fee for it, but I pulled out the "not playin' " face, with a side-eye of  attitude, took my luggage and left.  I'd had one hell of a week of stress while trying to vacation, topped off with sitting next to two Afghan men on the flight over with "cultural differences" (a nice term I came up with to describe horrific body odor, eating like an animal and other related issues) that had resulted in the Wino having an upset stomach and pounding headache - it was eye watering horrible, but really, I'm in their country so it's not up to me to judge.  And you certainly know when you're back here because the coughing, running nose and watery eyes begin within hours of touchdown.

AnyidoNOTtakeshit, I am now in Kabul enjoying a Friday off and leave for Mazar on Saturday afternoon.  I still have no idea what the fate of the program will be, but I did find out while dining at the villa where I am currently staying that many of my future project coworker's flights were canceled.  I think I lucked out by being in Dubai and it being cheaper to just fly me here.  Now I will work my Svengali magic and make myself as useful as possible.  I just want one more year here and then it's home for a nice break with all my short term goals accomplished!  Then I hope to find work anyplace else but back here!

I will say that if it weren't for my family, friends and significant other, I don't know how I could continue to do this work in this particular country.  The kind of situation I just went through while on vacation is mind boggling stressful, not to mention some of the situations and working conditions here.  It takes a lot of self-motivation to continue to come back to this place.  If I did not have my support system and constant good thoughts of home, I would be in trouble.  I try to look at the bigger picture in terms of working here and what I can learn and hopefully apply in new countries.  But at times, it kicks my behind being here and doing what I do. I will say, however, that it's a totally different vibe up here in Kabul and everyone here raves about Mazar.  It's almost normal down to being able to go to restaurants, shops, bars - today I was invited to go out for lunch and then a trip to the market and I caught myself just staring blankly with a look like "out?  Wha..?"  I've never been out here (other than my last trip to Kabul). On days off in the Kandahar region you spend your time following the shade shadows while you sit outside with your friends and swat at the flies that are crawling all over you.  Point being is that I think I'm about to experience something that is totally unreal to me in terms of my thoughts on Afghanistan - instead of the "Stinkistan" it could become the "SocialSceneIstan" or, dare I say "Relaxistan", "Notsobadistan"... just with occasional bombs.  I'll keep ya'll posted!  The adventure continues and I hope that everyone at home is enjoying their summer!

Drink of the Day - A hot, aromatic tea on the balcony overlooking Kabul

Death by Green Beans

Finally, finally the Blogger site is no longer blocked by the internet here and I can resume my postings.  Much has happened since my last post including an excellent and much needed 3 week trip home with family and friends, and a shiny new job, right out of the box.

Lets see, the state of affairs here is dire and soul crushing.  This program is failing and could possibly be better managed and planned by feces throwing monkeys.  Our client, a division of USAID, could not organize themselves out of a wet paper bag with the current leadership here on the ground.  Apparently, this program is quite successful in other countries, but cannot be applied successfully considering the current circumstances in the Kandahar area/southern region.  So it feels like we are trying to implement other people's self-serving career building rather than actual functioning and impact inducing projects.  The Wino's answer to this dilemma - make like a baby and head out!  Especially before the stench of failure permeates my clothing and personal belongings.

All things considered, this blog represents my own personal experiences and perceptions.  Unlike others,  I don't consider a "success story" (that we're so fond of circulating in print) to consist of some governmental official managing to sit upright in a chair and continue to breath. Call me close to being burnt out, but the lack of any expectation of accountability on the part of our Afghan partners down here in the south is no longer within my ability to stand - or keep a straight face.  In all fairness, these programs are experiencing a level of success - sometimes significant - in other parts of the country, but just not here.  So I'm off to hitch my proverbial wagon to a new program beginning in the north where I am told the culture, level of education, attitudes and religious extremism are a totally different situation - as is the alarmingly different level of violence. 

As of mid-July, I will be working and living in Mazar-e-Sharif and really can't wait.  Several of the co-workers I currently have left (many jobs have been eliminated and many more have gone off to greener pastures) have worked in the northern region.  The stories are amazing and I feel like some little kid, eagerly leaning in and asking ... "tell me more Grandpa!"  I absolutely cannot relate to what I'm hearing about this part of Afghanistan and am anxious to get up there and experience it myself.  I hear it's very green, in the mountains, the people and attitudes are quite different and it was an area that was last to fall to the Taliban and the first to liberate from them.  My living situation will include residing in a villa in town which will be near other agency villas and down the road from the UN compound.  I've included some photos below from the villa where I stayed while in Kabul back in April - just in case curious minds want to know what I'm talking about.  The stories I've heard rival the "house party" atmosphere so common and fun in college - not all the time mind you, but not a rare occurrence either.  Our villa apparently has a small swimming pool and gardens (this seems unreal to me) and you have some ability of freedom of movement to walk to local shops and restaurants and see your own projects.  This Hillbilly is rather wary of wondering around too much as I don't trust anyone here or any situation - that is a direct result of living and working in the south, but also quite wise in my opinion. The job itself sounds incredibly cool and there is an aspect of women's engagement and youth building (stop laughing) built into it.  I think some well organized dodge ball teams can take care of the kid problem here :)  Primarily my focus is on developing governance systems, municipal services and related economic activities as well as other related programming.  Sounds like I will also be working with some amazing and experienced professionals once again too - something that made this current job fantastic.


The negatives - not many, but Mazar hosts the same UN compound that was just stormed by an angry mob in April and resulted in many UN workers being killed and beheaded - the details on that situation are too unpleasant and sad for me to repeat.  Also, it's an area that's considered quite secure so Karzai (someone who should be assassinated and is a total, useless POS) is transitioning security in the north and west over to Afghan forces.  That's resulted in many news stories of bombings and shootings up there as the Afghan forces are occasionally infiltrated by insurgents who then take the opportunity to kill local politicians, leaders and other Afghan and ISAF security forces.  My point of caution will be to pay extra close attention to where I am and what I'm doing since a large part of my job is working directly with these local leaders and politicians.  Simples!

From the roof of a villa in Kabul

an old Russian tank in front of villa

behind villa - Afghan neighborhood

Close up of burnt out tank

View of other villas - nice, eh?

another shot of the neighborhood behind - people jog on that hill

Sooooo, I'm out of here at the end of June, will enjoy a week of the beach and a swim up bar in Dubai while trying to ignore the fact that it's so hot and humid there right now it's like breathing though a hot, wet towel in a boiling sauna.  120 degrees and amazing humidity.  Who Cares!!! That's what the swim-up bar is for and why the good Lord invented white wine... and water.  Then I'm back to begin my last year of work in the Stinkastan!

I am hoping that the new digs are minus the rodent, fly and now scorpion infestation that I currently enjoy here while at our office compound.  I am impervious to freaking out over fat mice/or small rats, the flies still make me homicidal, but now the scorpions are out and ruining my foot loose and fancy free flip flop evening attire.  I hate it here.  How can I be the Hillbilly Wino without flip flops?  I'm already trying to do it without wine.  This evening at dinner, I was trying to enjoy my pedestrian meal and happened to look down as a fly committed suicide right into my green beans - kamikaze style - had I not seen it happen, I would have blissfully enjoyed the extra protein without being the wiser.  Then another fly crawled out from under my neighbors pie crust while she was eating it.  On top of it  all, it was recommended that I get "de-wormed" when I finally go home since most likely I'm the hostess with the mostess and don't even realize it.  All courtesy of eating and living here.  Seriously, what am I - a puppy?

So that pretty much sums up the state of the union for the Wino.  Trust me, I am totally aware of the seething sarcasm and negativity jumping from the computer screen.  I'm hoping that a change of scenery and new project will help with perspective and renewed vigor so that I can once again approach nation building with the enthusiasm it requires!  Otherwise I will be the governance and stabilization version of a sexually frustrated Nun.  Negative and angry - and I so hate to let myself get to that point or remain there too long.  This portion of the journey is coming to an end and hopefully the next chapter will feel like a new country and totally different in ways that I cannot imagine.

Hang tough comrades!  And, enjoy the summer :)

Drink of the night - Pakistani Vodka with a warm diet coke - flip flops optional.

Simples!

Sorry it's been so long since a post, but I needed to make sure I had something to write that was accurate for at least 24 hours before I posted.  Let's see... returned from an exhilarating vacation, barring a horrible cold/flu I caught during the last leg, and within 3 hours of arriving back to my office compound we had a huge meeting and the staff was cut by 25%.  I was certain I was to go, but after 3 hours of waiting (as we were called in 1 by 1) I was informed that not only was I staying, but they loved my work and were sending me to FOB Wilson to clean up the mess there.  If you recall, FOB Wilson was one of the bases I spent all last summer planning - just the mention of it made me tense.  So, that began a series of back and forth changes that lasted for 3 weeks - you're going, you're not going, we're developing a new position for you, you're going, no... and finally I was going for sure and here I am.  The reason for the cuts has to do with the funding we receive through USAID, who in return receives if from Congress and FY11 doesn't come through for a few months.  Our program is also going through an audit and that's not helping - basically, it's still somewhat up in the air, but we did get enough money to continue for a few more months in hopes of more coming in.  So that covers that - as you can imagine, it's been a tense time.

As for being back, I arrived just in time for fly and rodent season.  Mice and flies all over our dining facility, then rats in the food, topped by me opening the fridge to grab a plate and there being a large mouse on top of it - by that time I didn't even flinch.  This was making my Menno Paws situation last spring look like something a baby could handle.  They were finally able to get that somewhat under control but it took days for me to get my gag reflex back in check - was scared to eat or touch anything.  To make things better, we enjoyed a pretty frequent indulgence of vodka around the fire pit during the evenings - usually Thursday nights - which was very entertaining until we all ran out of cash for the $80 per bottle price tag on rot-gut.  Possibly, I'm in the wrong industry over here... Carlos, the gay Philippine assistant site manager of our office compound was on speed dial and would sashay into our compound with our order and a lot of sass - all in very broken English - imagine a flaming queen, waltzing into our camp, palms out, runway walk, cig in one hand saying things like "oh, you bad boys, bad lay-dies Hee Hee - who be bad for Carlos?" - I can't even describe how surreal that situation was, but I hope I never forget it.   Lord.

 

 So now I'm out at FOB Wilson - middle of a combat zone, during combat season.  I'd been here last year so I knew what to expect.  Cannon guns going off at night, always on notice for attack.  I live on the other side of the wall from the District Governor's compound which keeps coming up as a prime target for attack.  I have to work over there frequently.  There are a ton of Afghan's milling about and the security is run by the ANP - not a unit I have any confidence in.  I do have private security and am escorted everywhere - including the shower, but I just put an end to that during the day.  This is a joint camp with the ANA so Afghans in uniform are all over the place here and I can't say I like it, but will adapt.  They are weird around women - mostly nice, but plenty of bullshit and I'm not putting up with it so we'll see how that goes.  My living container is fabulous, but there are nothing but port-o-johns and anyone can use them - including the Afghans - who basically stand on the seats and crap all over everything.  It's disgusting, but they clean them several times a day.  Blech!

I will be working closely with the District Governor and the projects work much differently than they do in Kandahar City.  For one thing, it's easier for the Taliban to intimidate people.  They cut the ears off of several workers on one of our projects two weeks ago and it's been hard to get the locals to show up for work - as you can imagine.  We award contracts for projects under the stipulation that locals are hired

my trailer - complete with plastic lounge!

so you can imagine the difficulty and  understand why they don't want to come to work all the time.  There are some really cool projects going on here as well - women's empowerment, small schools, I have a radio station and DJs on my staff, agriculture projects.  I am looking forward to these and hope our funding continues so that they can move ahead.

Today I went on my first foot patrol here outside of this base.  It was about a mile and a half out to the last site and we had a military escort, but damn I was on my toes - it was rather scary to do this in this area.  That was until we hit my first construction site and I went postal about the progress and the answers from the contractor.  He obviously is making very slow progress, there were kids working on the site( a huge no-no) and then we got into an argument about the depth of the well, etc.  Nightmare... and this is to be completed in 1 month.  I have to do all of this though an interpreter with grizzled military guys standing there listening.  To make matters worse, it's next to a cemetery so people show up all day cursing the contractor's first born, the DG's wife and suggesting sex with donkies.  When I am done with this, I will be able to handle ANY general contracting work in the States!  But this is why they sent me here - isn't it weird when people see something in you that you don't quite see in yourself and you are personally clueless about their faith in you to carry out the assignments? - this goes through my head every day.  I honestly never think I know exactly what I'm doing, but somehow I do it - it's like a big series of lucky breaks.   I digress...

Soooo, we get all the way out to the last site and notice the mountains are starting to disappear.  Not a good sign.  What it means is that a huge dust storm is coming, we're a mile or so out of base and now medivac cannot come get us if anything bad happens - the helicopters cannot fly, and the military won't be able to see us.  This storm was tremendous!  Wind so strong you had to struggle to stand, choking on dust and can't see a thing because it's sandpapering your eyes, can't communicate well because you can barely speak and if you could, nobody could hear you because of the wind.  We walked back through this to base and let me tell you ... my mouth was like a sandbox, complete with the little treats the neighborhood cats used to leave in ours overnight.  My face was on fire (I had used a mud mask 4 days prior that I ended up being allergic to, so I had a raw face before the day started), I could barely open my eyes and I could feel piles of fine dirt collected in places that were covered with clothing.  I looked like an old, brown woman!  There was an amazing brown run-off when I finally got to the shower hours later - the storm didn't let up for a loonnggg time.  Happy Sunday!

one of my project sites - still sunny!

Here are some pictures from the day...

inside the site of "unhappy progress"

one of the many burial sites

headed to the Agriculture Center as the sky darkens

progress - green things!

drainage ditch

...and the storm starts coming in

...and it keeps coming - notice you can see nada

and our patrol heading back to base - last pic I took before a complete dust-out.  You can see how strong the wind was if you look at the trees.

Well, that was my day.  I am still finding dirt in weird places - both on me and in my room.  Managed to run from the shower before my wet hair turned to mud - success!  I'd also like to wish Mike K. a Happy Birthday which comes at the end of this month - just a few more days old man - I still remember your 40th party with fondness.  I get to spend another one of mine here next month but am going HOME for a visit at the end of April and I cannot wait for that to happen. Hope everyone is doing well, enjoying the gas pricing and all that price gouging like that entails!  In the words of the Captain who led our patrol today - "go get cleaned up, dusted up and get your shit straight!"  It's the season of Easter!

Drink of the evening - Chrystal Lite in a Styrofoam cup!