Death by Green Beans

Finally, finally the Blogger site is no longer blocked by the internet here and I can resume my postings.  Much has happened since my last post including an excellent and much needed 3 week trip home with family and friends, and a shiny new job, right out of the box.

Lets see, the state of affairs here is dire and soul crushing.  This program is failing and could possibly be better managed and planned by feces throwing monkeys.  Our client, a division of USAID, could not organize themselves out of a wet paper bag with the current leadership here on the ground.  Apparently, this program is quite successful in other countries, but cannot be applied successfully considering the current circumstances in the Kandahar area/southern region.  So it feels like we are trying to implement other people's self-serving career building rather than actual functioning and impact inducing projects.  The Wino's answer to this dilemma - make like a baby and head out!  Especially before the stench of failure permeates my clothing and personal belongings.

All things considered, this blog represents my own personal experiences and perceptions.  Unlike others,  I don't consider a "success story" (that we're so fond of circulating in print) to consist of some governmental official managing to sit upright in a chair and continue to breath. Call me close to being burnt out, but the lack of any expectation of accountability on the part of our Afghan partners down here in the south is no longer within my ability to stand - or keep a straight face.  In all fairness, these programs are experiencing a level of success - sometimes significant - in other parts of the country, but just not here.  So I'm off to hitch my proverbial wagon to a new program beginning in the north where I am told the culture, level of education, attitudes and religious extremism are a totally different situation - as is the alarmingly different level of violence. 

As of mid-July, I will be working and living in Mazar-e-Sharif and really can't wait.  Several of the co-workers I currently have left (many jobs have been eliminated and many more have gone off to greener pastures) have worked in the northern region.  The stories are amazing and I feel like some little kid, eagerly leaning in and asking ... "tell me more Grandpa!"  I absolutely cannot relate to what I'm hearing about this part of Afghanistan and am anxious to get up there and experience it myself.  I hear it's very green, in the mountains, the people and attitudes are quite different and it was an area that was last to fall to the Taliban and the first to liberate from them.  My living situation will include residing in a villa in town which will be near other agency villas and down the road from the UN compound.  I've included some photos below from the villa where I stayed while in Kabul back in April - just in case curious minds want to know what I'm talking about.  The stories I've heard rival the "house party" atmosphere so common and fun in college - not all the time mind you, but not a rare occurrence either.  Our villa apparently has a small swimming pool and gardens (this seems unreal to me) and you have some ability of freedom of movement to walk to local shops and restaurants and see your own projects.  This Hillbilly is rather wary of wondering around too much as I don't trust anyone here or any situation - that is a direct result of living and working in the south, but also quite wise in my opinion. The job itself sounds incredibly cool and there is an aspect of women's engagement and youth building (stop laughing) built into it.  I think some well organized dodge ball teams can take care of the kid problem here :)  Primarily my focus is on developing governance systems, municipal services and related economic activities as well as other related programming.  Sounds like I will also be working with some amazing and experienced professionals once again too - something that made this current job fantastic.


The negatives - not many, but Mazar hosts the same UN compound that was just stormed by an angry mob in April and resulted in many UN workers being killed and beheaded - the details on that situation are too unpleasant and sad for me to repeat.  Also, it's an area that's considered quite secure so Karzai (someone who should be assassinated and is a total, useless POS) is transitioning security in the north and west over to Afghan forces.  That's resulted in many news stories of bombings and shootings up there as the Afghan forces are occasionally infiltrated by insurgents who then take the opportunity to kill local politicians, leaders and other Afghan and ISAF security forces.  My point of caution will be to pay extra close attention to where I am and what I'm doing since a large part of my job is working directly with these local leaders and politicians.  Simples!

From the roof of a villa in Kabul

an old Russian tank in front of villa

behind villa - Afghan neighborhood

Close up of burnt out tank

View of other villas - nice, eh?

another shot of the neighborhood behind - people jog on that hill

Sooooo, I'm out of here at the end of June, will enjoy a week of the beach and a swim up bar in Dubai while trying to ignore the fact that it's so hot and humid there right now it's like breathing though a hot, wet towel in a boiling sauna.  120 degrees and amazing humidity.  Who Cares!!! That's what the swim-up bar is for and why the good Lord invented white wine... and water.  Then I'm back to begin my last year of work in the Stinkastan!

I am hoping that the new digs are minus the rodent, fly and now scorpion infestation that I currently enjoy here while at our office compound.  I am impervious to freaking out over fat mice/or small rats, the flies still make me homicidal, but now the scorpions are out and ruining my foot loose and fancy free flip flop evening attire.  I hate it here.  How can I be the Hillbilly Wino without flip flops?  I'm already trying to do it without wine.  This evening at dinner, I was trying to enjoy my pedestrian meal and happened to look down as a fly committed suicide right into my green beans - kamikaze style - had I not seen it happen, I would have blissfully enjoyed the extra protein without being the wiser.  Then another fly crawled out from under my neighbors pie crust while she was eating it.  On top of it  all, it was recommended that I get "de-wormed" when I finally go home since most likely I'm the hostess with the mostess and don't even realize it.  All courtesy of eating and living here.  Seriously, what am I - a puppy?

So that pretty much sums up the state of the union for the Wino.  Trust me, I am totally aware of the seething sarcasm and negativity jumping from the computer screen.  I'm hoping that a change of scenery and new project will help with perspective and renewed vigor so that I can once again approach nation building with the enthusiasm it requires!  Otherwise I will be the governance and stabilization version of a sexually frustrated Nun.  Negative and angry - and I so hate to let myself get to that point or remain there too long.  This portion of the journey is coming to an end and hopefully the next chapter will feel like a new country and totally different in ways that I cannot imagine.

Hang tough comrades!  And, enjoy the summer :)

Drink of the night - Pakistani Vodka with a warm diet coke - flip flops optional.