Seychelles not Sea Shells

stunning beach!

JM and I have just returned from what I think must be one of the top three most beautiful places in the world ... the Seychelles Islands.  I have planned a trip here many, many times during my tenure in Afghanistan and just never made it, so to finally hit a Bucket List location was incredibly cool.  We managed to find pretty cheap tickets and very affordable hotel right on the beach - thanks to it being off season.  All that I can say is "wow" - I will never tire of white sand and the clearest blue water I have ever seen.  The water temp was perfect so we were able to swim constantly with nothing but a cooling effect from the equatorial sun.  Absolutely perfect!  We only had a few days in this fantastic location so we made the most of it by lounging on the beach, soaking up the sun and many SeyBrew beers.

mountains and our hotel

At night it was a short walk on the beach and dinner at one of the many fun little restaurants tucked away in the trees.   The food at the Russian owned hotel was less than exceptional, but thankfully everything outside of that was pretty damn good.

One of the beautiful sunsets

Now, back to the Russian owned hotel... this certainly explained the exceptionally large men clad in speedos.  I witnessed many who reminded me of a cartoon character, Bruno, who wrestled bears.  Our place was full of honeymooners and older couples - so those just starting off and those together long enough to have the money to travel to Seychelles... and then us :)


We stayed on the main island of Mahe, near the town Victoria.  A Saturday market visit in town was rather interesting.  Leaving the constant breeze of the ocean to walk down the road and catch a local bus to town was when you realized how hot and humid it was there.  Because our flight arrived at night, we didn't see much when we came in, so the bus ride into town through the granite mountains, hairpin turns and winding roads was exceptional - the views were amazing.  The town itself is small and filled with beautiful old buildings and the market was located somewhat in the center.  The market was really fun, although every shop you walked into was hot as hell. Adding to that, because tourism is basically their economy and its so popular and an expensive destination, there wasn't much hagglin' on prices and the Hillbilly loves to haggle!  ... but we did manage to find some deals - they are known for their spices, vanilla, rum and patchouli and some weird palm nut that looks like lady-parts.  A few beers and a quick lunch then we began the process of getting back to the beach - this involved seeing more of the town than planned, but Victoria was beautiful although everything closed at noon. Trying to find the bus back from town was an exercise in patience, but we finally arrived back at our beach hotel and an immediate dip in the clear blue ocean relieved all of the frustration.

Entrance to Market

Victoria, Seychelles.  

inside market

After more lounging on the beach, our final day there we did a last minute half day snorkeling trip which ended up being a blast.  It rained pretty hard on and off all day so one minute we'd be all about going and the next not - finally we just committed and it ended up being an excellent decision.  We took a little boat out to a cove to meet up with a party who had paid for the full day - they provided lunch on the BBQ and some drinks - fun people there!  However, the creepster who had been blatantly staring at JM the entire time we were at the beach was there with his wife ... mind you, his wife was with him the whole time but it never kept him from staring, turning his head to stare and standing there and staring at JM - and his wife was attractive.  I just summed it up to him being an absolute pig ... or European :)  So they were there, he was staring (of course) and we were meeting some fun new people we were to spend the rest of the day with snorkeling.  They were taking us out to a marine national park, but the waves were too choppy so we turned back and hit another beautiful cove and snorkeled for an hour - it was fantastic!  Clear water, lots of beautiful tropical fish and there was actually a school of black and white stripped fish that followed you around and got right up in your mask -kind of playing with you - it was really interesting.  On the way back we boated through a downpour and then they took us to several small coves just to check out the scenery, small hotels built into the granite and more of the stunning island.  Then finally back to our beach where they just pulled right up to our hotel basically and dropped us off.  Our flight out was early the next morning and then the train and bus back to the apartment - quick trip but incredibly fun.

Now we're back in Pretoria, seeing many movies and enjoying ourselves.  My project is going well now that I'm used to the "African Way" which equates to nothing being done on time.  Our roach friends are no longer in the apartment which has been quite nice and we've been enjoying cooking without the potential freak out. I leave for Maputo next week for a quick trip and then back - we're meeting up at the airport and doing a drive to Kruger National Park next Friday for a weekend to see if we can spot any animals - really looking forward to that and also the 4 hour drive through South Africa to get there.  It's been quite hot here as summer begins to approach in the southern hemisphere which I still find a weird adjustment.  All is good at this point and I would even like to find some more work here to stay longer - after a trip home to get Django and Fat Kid Ninja of course - I miss those two devils.  

Hope everyone is enjoying the end of summer at home - I know its Oktoberfest this weekend back at the home front - go big or go home!  I would kill for a festival Braut...

Drink of the day - a pinot noir/chardonnay blend - delicious!

The Real Life Boogie Man

the apartment

yes, these are dead roaches INSIDE the LED display of the stove  = constant willies

Wow - I can't believe it's been a month since I last posted!  Hard to believe that last year at this time I was in Afghanistan and Dubai. Time seems to be passing quickly, but all is good.  So much has happened over the past several weeks, so I will begin with the apartment.  I finally found a furnished two bedroom apartment in a suburb of Pretoria named Brooklyn.  It is located in an area with an upscale mall right across the street, tucked in among the green space.  There are also many restaurant and grocery options in this part of town and it's much nicer than the college area where my office and hotel are.  The walking around is easy, but since this country basically closes up shop at dusk due to night crime, nothing is really that close when you find yourself walking home after dark.  I take the bus to and from work each day and feel like a kid again waiting at the bus stop every morning.  I really like the apartment and so too did the roaches that had infested it courtesy of the former tenants.  Seriously, this made the roach problem in the Dominican look like baby play time, but these weren't as big.  I was finding them everywhere - even coming out of the speakers and behind wall shelving - truly not the welcome-to-your-new-place I was hoping for!  I moved into the place one week before JM arrived, so I bombed and sprayed and went nuts with chemicals to get rid of my house guests - enough to make a small dent and not cause JM to have a total cardiac upon arrival, but they were still showing themselves.  We had about one week here before we left for a two and a half week stint in Maputo and just made the best of it.  They were eradicated while we were gone, so we returned to a very clean and bug free environment - thankfully.  Oh yea, I have a cleaning lady who comes once a week - neither of us speak the other's language, but she seems great and does an excellent job ... all for $15 a week - I'm still loving these prices and favorable exchange rates here in South Africa!

 JM and I had an excellent time in Maputo together.  It was so much more fun and enjoyable for me to have JM there because it really should be enjoyed and experienced with another.  We saw some amazing jazz concerts, enjoyed drinks at the historic Polena Hotel, went to a modern dance performance at the French Cultural Center, took a ferry to Catembe Island for a really fun Sunday afternoon, enjoyed some excellent meals, haggled with the vendors (I'm very good at this. JM not so much :) ) and had some seriously entertaining nights with a group of friends we made - courtesy of Naby who I had been introduced to and hung out with the first time I was there.  Since every meal basically involves eating out, it was so nice after six long weeks to not have to do that alone every day and night.  The weather in Maputo is fantastic and I simply cannot adequately describe the great vibe that city has ... I really like it.  JM is of course quickly becoming a passable Portuguese speaker in addition to being the whitest person on the street - seriously, some of the little kids just stop and stare at the blonde hair and pale skin - it's been pretty amusing.  I am starting to understand the language much better when I hear it, but still sound like a moron when I try to speak it.

JM and "Dumb Dumb the dog"

Fantastic jazz drummer

Polena Hotel

inside the Central Market

Some of the fun friends we've made

Exceptional jazz concert

Now on the topic of my job... that's been really interesting.  I'm slowly acclimating to what is known commonly as the "African Way" which is hard to describe, but doesn't involve any sense of urgency or much accountability.  Things are accomplished but in their own good time and not according to anything as ridiculous as my construction schedule.  Two of my employees despise each other. They also both happen to be the strongest English speakers and who I work with and through the most.  The project is coming along, but slowly and I'm finally just accepting it as I have very few proverbial carrots and sticks to use for motivation.  I travel back and forth from Pretoria to Maputo for a few weeks in each place.  This is causing issues for me because I was originally supposed to be located in Maputo full time with JM, so when they changed that arrangement, they didn't change my contract in that regard.  By rights, they should pay for JM to travel back and forth with me, but that's not how it's going to work, so we will be renting cars from here on out and driving from Pretoria to Maputo - it's about 5 hours and includes a border crossing. We will at least have a car, can do many stay-overs in Kruger National Park on our way to and from and therefore increase our chances of seeing the Big 5 of the animal kingdom.  I think the Big 5 are elephants, giraffes, water buffalo, lions and cheetahs (never sure of the last two).  You can drive through the park on your own as it's apparently well marked and I really can't wait to experience it!  I hope we see all five and whatever else may cross our path - I really cannot even imagine seeing giraffes or elephants just out in the open like that.  Although I think actually driving in Africa - in particular Maputo - will be an experience in itself... wish us luck :)

Interestingly, I'm having one hell of a time with Witch Doctors.  The Witch Doctor (WD) issue is fascinating/frustrating/freaky all simultaneously.  There is deeply held belief here regarding the WD in Africa.  Modern medicine, Christianity, Westernization and exposure to the world via internet and TV don't seem to put a dent in the belief system surrounding the WD for many black Africans.  All of the HIV/AIDs training and treatment programs that have been funded here literally for decades will often be tossed in favor of the WD in some areas - this would include one employee in Gaza Province who has AIDs, was responding well to treatment and then disappeared with the WD and we have no idea where the guy is.  Apparently, one employee I work with closely (who I do not trust but holds most of the institutional knowledge of the program) is big into the WD while also being a church pastor.  He's rumored to been involved in WD ceremonies at our offices in the past, and this adds to the fear of him and therefore his influence over particular employees.  I was informed that he brought a WD into the office during my last trip - snuck him in during the night or some such thing - for the purpose of getting me to say "yes" to him where work was concerned.  Basically to control me.  The employee who told me this said she could smell the WD on him the next day - this was in reference to what they burn to incite particular outcomes.  Interestingly, she said WDs will do this at market places and those in the know will then be able to identify who and where they are.  Others wear specific types of head wraps, etc.  I was totally respectful while she was telling me this, but was personally on the "WDs are bullshit" wagon. But if you know me well, you would know that as strong as my bullshit factor is, there's still a wee bit of the Wino that wonders about this situation.  The next day, unfortunately, the electric was out in our offices and the day after that the internet went out ... both issues easily explained, but gave strength to the WD visit that had recently occurred.   I had to report the WD incident to our HR department where it is regarded as a very serious matter... I sincerely love having a job where Witch Doctor issues are serious HR matters - the world is an interesting place.

So, JM and I are back in Pretoria.  We've made our apartment very homey especially considering it's no longer a roach motel.  We've found some good market buys such as woodcarvings and batik cloth so it's getting pretty African around here.  We also will be seeing a ton of movies in the future thanks to the town pretty much shutting down at dusk - they are incredibly cheap here ... for instance, 2 people, popcorn and drinks at an evening show might run a total of $10 - $13 ... I've been to three already and two more with JM.  You can afford to see just about anything - from OK movies to great ones - without feeling the sting of overpriced anything.  We do not have a car, so we're very limited in what we can do at night.  The mall shops even close by 6pm, but the theater and restaurants will stay open later.  However, you then you have to walk home at night and nobody is on the street ... at least not anyone you'd want to notice you, that's for sure.  In Maputo we didn't have this issue and could stay out really late on the weekends and the streets felt like a big party.

The people in Mozambique and South Africa have been extremely friendly and helpful so far - as it usually goes, the public service employees in the airport, train and ferry stations  can be slack-jawed, mouth breathing, button-eyed idiots but that seems to be a common theme all over the world.  We're taking it easy this weekend and plan on taking a quick and very affordable trip to the Seychelles next Thursday - Tuesday.  I cannot wait for that!!!  A trip to the Seychelles has always been on my bucket list and obviously much more affordable to do from here - I can't believe I'll finally be experiencing that place and in good company which is a huge plus!  I will for sure be posting some pics after that.  I hope all of you are enjoying the end of summer and the beginning of football season!  I love football season and will be missing most of it again this year.  Also, we are headed into spring which is a weird adjustment considering the upcoming months.  I still miss my peeps at home and the Django and Fat Kid Ninja duo who are still hopefully doing well and behaving themselves during their stay with Team Kazemi. Until the next post, I hope you all are having excellent lives and keeping the witch doctor at bay :)

Drink of the day:  Pinotage baby!  I'm hooked :)

Trip to Xai Xai

This week I had the good fortune to travel to Xai Xai and check out some of our housing projects and also meet some of the families involved.  The drive to Gaza province was an amazing three hour adventure where we passed tons of sugar cane plantations, amazing roadside markets and witnessed the great colonization of Mozambique by the Chinese - seriously, who knew?  I had no idea China was investing so much money in infrastructure here as well as developing rice plantations, etc. - it's like they're taking over, but nobody seems to care since roads are being built, mega-farms and other industries are being developed.  Apparently they offer no interest loans to the government in exchange for using only Chinese workers and then import a huge load of Chinese prisoners who work for free - those nutty, industrious Chinese.  There were also quite a few English speaking middle eastern Muslim men roaming around in packs who are not very welcomed by the locals - Sharia law and the fast and loose Mozambique lifestyle are not a good mix ... and let's hope it stays that way because it's so much fun.

roadside market

The program here focuses on orphans and vulnerable children impacted by AIDs, so we build houses, legally will them to the children and find an adult or relative willing to take care of the kiddos. It was extremely interesting to say the least, especially since the HIV issue in Africa has played itself out much differently than we are familiar with in the US.  Entire villages were absent of men in a certain age bracket and many of the corresponding women, yet there were still many newborns around which was a head scratcher on some levels (more about that later).  Even with all of the HIV education, the witch doctors are still very popular as is superstition about how HIV is contracted or "cured."

It was pretty shocking to initially witness how people live in the villages.  Many of the homes we built are next to the old grass and reed huts these families used to occupy so it's extremely apparent how much of an improvement in living conditions the project made.  This also leads to much better health since people are better protected from the elements, mozzies and other good-time killers out here.  Many of the mothers and children are suffering from HIV but do seem to respond to the medication - and also actually take it - which helps.  The men are the ones who apparently stop taking their meds because it's still widely believed that the women cursed the men with AIDS and therefore the men head off to the witch doctors for cures which inevitably kills them.  So often, the wives are cast out of the homes for causing the problem when reality is that the men are infecting the women, refusing to wear condoms, knowingly spreading the virus ... blah, blah, blah - same story everywhere ... it would be nice if at some point all shortcomings weren't blamed on the actual victims.  This whole scenario is made worse by the fact that many of the healthy men leave to work at the mines in South Africa and then come back with the virus.

one of our homes in a remote village

Anyway, the end result is the continued proliferation of the situation and therefore more orphans.  I was in one village talking via an interpreter with a couple of "grannies" - who were probably younger than me - and asked them where all of the newborns came from ... something I was curious about because I saw very few men.  The first response I received was a literal response - that babies come from a man and a woman - which would explain the confused look on the grannie's face as to why I wouldn't know that.  It took a few different framings of the same question before the answer was "bad young boys" who promise to take care of the women and then leave when they get pregnant.  There are the makings of an after-school-special here me thinks :)  So, in sum, with all of the education provided and available, the power of superstition and witchcraft still rules - if it weren't killing so many people, I'd be much more enthralled with the scenario, but it is still absolutely amazing and interesting on many levels.

The home's family in the kitchen

neighborhood kids

morning walk on a Xai Xai beach

... and the other direction

One of the highlights of my stay was my lodging, which was right on the beach.  Let me be clear, the only highlight of my lodging was the beach ... I only had one overnight, but it allowed me to enjoy an hour's jaunt on an unspoiled Indian Ocean beach.  Fan-tastic! I could have walked along that beach all day, so the lesson from that experience is to make more plans for the beach areas while I'm here!  That's already in process :)

headed into another village project site

My time in Maputo came to an end mid-week and I'm now back in a hotel in Pretoria for a few weeks, trying to find an apartment for JM and me - who arrives next Monday.  That process has been less than eventful but I did finally find a decent furnished one and hopefully the details will be hammered out this Monday. I can't wait until I can finally say I no longer live in a hotel room.  Seriously, I've been in some kind of hotel/room situation for over a month now, living out of my suitcase and it's getting old.  I'd also like to enjoy a meal without having to sit in a crowd and can't wait to eat a bowl of cereal or something in my underwear (if I want to), all by myself or with company of my choosing. Plus, I'm totally sick of eating out and really can't wait to do some cooking of my own.  Yes, I'm a bit grumpy and also a bit pissed that I'm doing this on my own when it was supposed to have been handled for me - you must make your own luck and destiny!  All will be fine I'm sure.

On the agenda for this weekend is to actually explore more of Pretoria which I will do by walking 2 miles to the mall which is in the neighborhood where I will hopefully be living.  Need to report back to JM on what's available here in order to help with the packing.  Plus I need a haircut and would love to indulge in a mani/pedi just to feel normal :)  I hope the summer is progressing nicely for the rest of you - I can't believe it's August already...

Drink of the day: Chai Tea that will most likely be followed by several glasses of wine at the appropriate hour.

Sun, Fun and Lobster "Tales"

Well, its my last weekend in Maputo until mid-August and so far, it's been a damn nice one!  I had a rather long, boring week of which I enjoyed a stomach issue and an off the charts kidney infection, but time and some medication have apparently cured all.  Now that I'm feeling better I can very much appreciate how crappy I felt.  Glad that's over and happy to not have contracted malaria - that's how I ended up at the clinic due to my co-workers insisting because of my nasty symptoms.  So, back to the weekend ...  I woke up early on Saturday, enjoyed a cappuccino with a delicious pastry, and then walked miles looking for the Central Market - which apparently is not where it's shown on the map - next time I guess.  Then I received a call from a friend and ended up having a fantastic Saturday afternoon.  Naby and his friend Carla picked me up and we headed down the way to the drive along the waterfront - beautiful! We sat outside at a few beachfront saloons, met some fun people and drank numerous beers before heading to the famous Fish Market.  Now that was a blast - bought some lobsters, ate peanuts, drank more beer and thankfully I was with locals so they kept the street vendors away.  Seriously, these people swarm you worse than the flies around the fish - it gets incredibly annoying after a bit.  I thoroughly enjoyed the Fish Market, didn't have to hassle with the vendors and later indulged in some delicious lobster tails.  I'm now schooled in how not to get ripped off there as well, so my next trip solo should go swimmingly :)

beachfront drinking

Fish Market - with fish

Enjoying late afternoon lobster

I'm hopeful that today will be just as much fun, but most likely a bit more low key with tomorrow being a work day.  It's stunning here, mid 80s, sunny and with a constant ocean breeze.  I have a morning of completing a few job applications, then a walk, followed by some lunch, most likely a Sunday nap and then preparing for my over-nighter in Xai Xai tomorrow.  I'm looking forward to that trip and have a little shithole room booked right on the beach, so I will for sure be reporting on that later.  I will miss this place when I head back to Pretoria but will be back soon enough.  It also might be nice to enjoy the greatly reduced cost of living in South Africa as compared to here if even for a couple of weeks.

When I return to Pretoria, I will hopefully have a few apartments to choose from and finally will no longer be living in a hotel or room-for-rent.  I love where I'm staying in Maputo but am kind of missing cooking and feeling like an actual space is my home.  I've been here close to a month, so it's time to get settled in - even if I am traveling back and forth, it's still nice to feel like I have someplace to go "home" to in the end.  This will be a theme that continues upon my return to the US as I don't have an official home there either anymore.  Looks like 2013 and the start of 2014 will be a bit of the Adventures of the Gypsy Hillbilly Wino.  But I'm going to roll with it, enjoy the journey and take in all lessons, good and bad, that come my way.  I have an excellent companion in adventure, so we will be making our mark somewhere together and it will be something nice to share with another person.

Speaking of adventure, I've started to line up a few affordable options which have been greatly helped by the fact that I have access to so many people who live here and therefore make great suggestions and hook a Wino up with contacts.  I think the adventures will begin in September so I'm really looking forward to them.  Being so close to Kruger National Park makes day safaris possible, Cape Town is for sure on the list (complete with wine country) and possibly a once in a lifetime jaunt to one of the most beautiful places in the world - a short trip to Seychelles!  I really hope that one happens, but it's in the "maybe" column.  However I did find a very affordable place to stay and a cheap flight, so I'm ready to make some magic happen.  The financial objective of my 6 months here is not to travel all over the place, but rather to stay afloat and afford the move to Denver or LA upon my return ... with a wee little bit to tide me over for a few months while I continue that bitch of a job search back home.  I'm going to load up my dog Django, my kitty Fat Kid Ninja, my special friend and head west!  Economic recovery my Hillbilly ass... but I remain hopeful that my THIRD return back to the US of A results in actual gainful employment :)

I hope everyone has had an incredibly enjoyable weekend - I can't believe that it will be August next week!!  I recently realized that I have not enjoyed a full summer at home in four years which seems weird to me... but I'm not sure how much fun they would have been in the muggy hotbox I fondly call home - global warming is a thing - even with excellent companions!  So, enjoy what looks to be a week 's break from the heat back home and I will continue to indulge in the winter season here.

Drink of the day:  a perfectly chilled chardonnay!

The Aura of Flora and Poo

Interesting week and finally settling in with somewhat of a routine.   My walk to and from work is just shy of two miles each way.  A very interesting walk too, I might add.  Where I live is in a much nicer area - Embassies, expat workers, the nice hotels - and where I work is in the Military neighborhood, which is full of regular people doing there thing.  The trek to work begins with an abundance of sidewalk infrastructure largely intact and a smattering of early morning tourist vendors - it ends in an area with gaping holes in the sidewalks, piles of trash, sand paths and colorful neighborhood street vendors.  The smells on the street are a combination of delicious and repugnant, but there's something about that contrast I find soothing - flowering trees, old fish, bread and pastries, human excrement, perfumes and colognes and gag inducing body odor - we have it all folks, and pretty much simultaneously!  I amazingly draw no attention to myself on these walks, often the only light skinned person on the street - I just look like another NGO hippy walking in flip flops with a back pack, off to "do good".  Within a week's time, I've pretty much figured out a few of the regular's schedules on my stroll as I'm sure they have mine.  For example, about 25 minutes into my walk, I will pass an albino teenager on her way to school, then my favorite fruit stand lady setting up shop, past the shoe shine guys, a horde of dirty people waiting to be picked up for day labor and then when I see the the same two vagrants getting a jump on the early morning trash picking I know I'm about five minutes from the office.  I don't even need a watch!

This week was curious as I worked with my team all week knowing that we were going to inform them that Friday of the office is closing in December.  They all suspected, but hearing it is another experience.  That went well and we let them go early.  I'm here for another 10 days then back to Pretoria for a few weeks until my return.  At this point, I'm not expecting any nasty surprises and we developed a construction schedule that's realistic.  I head to Gaza Province at the end of the month to participate in a few housing handovers and really get an idea of exactly what we are doing.  Some of the recipients live in small villages but others apparently live in extremely rural and difficult to access areas.  I was reading some of the stories about how their new homes have improved their lives ... they were full of comments like "... now we can see the snakes and rats on the cement floor which makes it easier to kill them and they can't hide in the dirt or thatched roof." My worst day at home, which might include finding a house spider in the tub, pales in comparison - however, I can relate on some levels after living in a rat/mice/fly/bird infested facility in Afghanistan for a few months.  Seeing and killing is very important and you haven't experienced life until a rat has run across your bare foot, found mice in the frig, snakes in your office and your living area is an after hours club for rodents (loved living in a tent).  I have a feeling that my living conditions in the Stan were still far, far superior to what I will witness in Gaza.

view from my office balcony

My walk to work - 5 more minutes!

no sidewalk here

walk near my house

the street I live on in Maputo

So, this weekend has been rather low-key.  I'm at the three week mark, but it feels like three months.  I'm a little homesick. Although technically I no longer have a physical home, I do have many of my favorite people located in one particular spot.  I have three more weeks until JM joins me here and I sincerely cannot wait and am unapologetically missing this particular person in a really bad way.  I do extremely well on my own, but I do have to admit to a certain amount of boredom after a bit.  I have no other expat workers here on this project either, so not many people yet to hang out with at this point.  Also, because I will be coming in and out on a semi-regular basis, that kind of dampens one's ability to join anything.  I have found some jazz and after-work happy hours that I will check out and they appear to be in the vicinity of my path home.  Note on that one - it gets dark pretty early here so I book out of work at a specific time so as not to be caught at dusk still in my work neighborhood - the Hillbilly senses that would not be a good idea and even the Wino side agrees.

I love the weekends here and walk for miles just checking things out, stopping at cafes and taking it all in.  On Saturdays, there is a wedding hall down the street and huge groups of people show up with their wedding parties to be married - tons of singing, dancing and fancy clothes or traditional wear.  It's become one of my favorite things to watch on Saturdays.  I will make sure to post some pics once I take them.  One of the only really irritating issues here are the street vendors - you cannot sit outside and enjoy yourself without an army of them walking by offering you every type of crap known to man - it ranges from food and electrical adapters (those were handy) to large ugly rugs, cameras and wooden bullshit.  No, I do not want to buy your friggin' marimba and standing in my face for 5 minutes speaking to me in a language I don't understand isn't going to change my mind.  That sounds so "get off my lawn" ... :)  Anyidontwantyourshit, for the most part it's OK, but every now and again it tends to work my last nerve.  Speaking of which, I have a sneaky guerrilla mozzie in my room that is literally biting the hell out of me - leaves dime size bites and I never see the evil thing.  I'm on malaria meds, but it still makes me nervous and you think I'd see something flying around that leaves bites that big.  I'm on a mission to kill it. dead.

This morning is starting off nicely - it's sunny, a nice temperature and my breakfast just arrived... brought to my room which is service deserving of the queen I am :)  I don't know why I'm up so early, but I'm going to stop asking myself that question.  I will go outside on the deck soon to enjoy the morning and the view ... with the four labs.  Might I add, none of which are fixed so they mark everything - if you happen to be sitting in the chair on not...  Hope you all had an enjoyable weekend and are readying for an excellent week!

Drink of the day: a champagne split and fresh juice - pinkies up!

Peri Peri, the condiment of champions!

Aye!  What a week this has been.  All was going well and then early in the week this position was almost eliminated due to a very real and also perceived issue with the type of Visa I have for working in Mozambique.  Hours/days of jaw clenching stress later - really, what would this type of work be without some kind of huge issue that results in jaw clenching stress - a very creative idea was proposed and alas, I was able to keep my job.  Basically, because of what I have been hired to do, the fact that I didn't have an official work permit was possibly going to result in me being deported or jailed.  All is right in the world now and it appears that I will be based in Pretoria, South Africa and travel to Maputo a few weeks each month.  Simples!  So here I am, in lovely Maputo until the end of the month.  I don't speak the language, so when people speak to me I have about as much comprehension as my cat when I speak to him - total oblivion ...  so I will be working on my Portuguese.

Maputo... let's see, I LOVE this place!  It's kind of crazy, tons of energy, excellent weather, vibrant street life and I happened to find a fabulous place to stay while here.  I'm actually living in some extra rooms in a house occupied by a really cool Indian/Portuguese couple.  They live upstairs and I'm downstairs - deck and pool level, overlooking the Indian Ocean.  I hang with their four labs - one of which leaves me blushing every time he gets up close and personal in a way that lifts one off their toes. I will be working on that, and after day 1 and being covered in hair and slobber, I am thankfully no longer the interesting shiny new penny.  The owner drove me all over to show me around and point out where to go, what to avoid and suggest some great trips.  Speaking of trips, he certainly is one and in the best way.  Has a really fantastic wife and two very cute kids, but certainly is missing his bachelor days - really fun guy and has been a very gracious host.  I enjoyed lunch with them the first day and tore into the best Indian meal I have ever consumed, courtesy of their live-in Indian chef. Had a  nice dinner and a few drinks out, then very early to bed as it was an extremely long day. They also have a pet bunny who roams the front yard on the street level.  One of the best things about this place is that I am not "checked-in" to any hotel with my passport, so I can be here in relative anonymity which further secures some of the issues that could arise with my work here.

the deck outside my rooms

view from my sleeping chamber :)

sunset

office/bar area that I have use of - my rooms are the sliding doors

view from my table the first night here

sunrise - I was up early

my walk back to my residence this afternoon

So, today I woke up to a beautiful sunrise over the ocean - from my bedroom - and strolled down the street to enjoy an evilly delicious Portuguese pastry and cappuccino. Wow, those are going to be dangerous.  Walked all over the main area where most of the cafes and restaurants are, hung out in the sun on the deck here at my abode, applied for a few jobs and then it was feeding time again.  I strolled down to another outside eatery and ordered a special burger and salad, but what I received what some chicken sandwich on a pineapple in a bun with a side of peri-peri sauce for which the Mozambicans are famous.  I slathered it on everything and it was delicious - also so damn hot that at one point I thought my mouth was going to try to run away from my face - perfect!!  So, three beers later - which were necessary to put the furnace out in my mouth - I was ready to stroll home.  Seriously, I can still feel that stuff and wonder if it will literally eat a hole right thru me, my moneymaker and any furniture I happen to by occupying at the time.  I plan to eat this at every opportunity - plus hot food helps to quell the nasties that may be inhabiting my food and can make one quite sick - I've had some questionable water sources, greens, etc. that made me take pause in reference to what may happen to the old GI system.  The Wino will keep you posted, because what would an adventure blog be without some detailed description of nasty intestinal issues.  I'm still hoping for the best though :)

Tonight I am going to experience Maputo nightlife courtesy of my host's wild friend Naby - the plan is food, drink, music, drink, food ... you get the picture and I hope the ol' Wino can hang - I'm not really worried about that actually.  It should be fun and also a great way to check things out in order to be better prepared to entertain myself.  Oh yes, I am here to actually work, so I will be in the office here Monday and that's when the fun begins.  Should be crazy, that's for sure.  I will complete the rest of this after my night out with Naby.

Oh my ... what a night and what a fun, fun guy - food, music, drink, music, drink ... home at 4:15am. You get the idea.  Met a ton of fun people - lots of other international workers here on contracts, etc.  So, in sum, it was really fun but I was totally gassed out all day today.
Tomorrow is the first day of work in the Mozambique office - should be interesting!

Drink of the night: Coke Light - my liver requested a well deserved break!

I am not your Mommi

Finally, the jet lag has subsided and I’m feeling like a normally functioning Wino.  Because of that normalcy, I’ve been out and about to explore my small area of safety all on my own.  Other than almost being hit by cars twice due to not being used to looking the opposite direction, things have been pretty interesting and uneventful.  I’ll either quickly learn to adjust to the change in which side of the street people drive, or I will most likely learn the hard way which is the less preferred method.

Other than sleeping for a copious amount of time this weekend, some frustrating Skype connection issues with my other half and the fact that it gets dark here at 5:30, things have been pretty normal and very similar to home.   There are some great outdoor cafes and restaurants, live music – including some of the best street musicians I have experienced in some time – and nice pricing here.  It’s much cheaper here than at home thanks to favorable exchange rates.  I have been making sure to enjoy this time, little stress and comforts of home because it appears that all of this may abruptly change once I step my little piggies into Mozambique.  Which, by all accounts, is much more chaotic and challenging than here.  I’ll keep you posted on that one. For sure the hotel where I’m booked there had some less than favorable reviews – the kind that make you dread your pending stay.  I hope to find an apartment as soon as possible!

So my hotel room faces the main street, which has resulted in some interesting nights.  No matter where you are, there will be drunks screaming and laughing at all hours of the night and for some reason, abrupt sing-alongs that break out at odd times.  I can’t say that I mind it because it’s new, but I could see how it would wear out its welcome if you were here for a much longer time.  The street people and beggars haven’t been an issue either because I don’t speak the language so I’m oddly spared the explanation of the need for my change – but they do call you “Mommi” here all the time – Ms. Scowby will have to fill me in on the meaning of that one.  To my knowledge, I haven’t birthed no babies, but I doubt seriously that’s what it means J Probably something more like %!#@& you white bitch.  Ignorance is bliss!

Today I went to the African outdoor market.  More really gifted musicians, but not too interesting of items except for the Batik cloth, but I decided to wait to purchase any of that.  Not much haggling either and anyone who knows the Hillbilly knows that I just love the art of crafting “the deal” but there wasn’t much budging so it wasn’t much fun.  Did acquire a shirt and skirt, but can’t say I was blowin’ em over with any huge savings – thankfully they were pretty affordable from the start.  Much of my wardrobe has been purchased on the street in other countries, so I plan on continuing that trend.  I will really be screwed if and when I ever obtain a normal office job as very little of it would fly in that environment.  I’ll make sure to be concerned about that later, but until then, I will continue to exist as the wild-mid-life-child that I am.  Oh yea, the good kind of wild J 

Musicians rocking their marimbas

I will close with a few observations – the continuous horn honking and whistling has at moments almost made me homicidal.  This is due to the mini buses that drive along honking while hoping to attract passengers by letting EVERYONE know they are coming.  The whistling is the result of informal parking attendants who stand in the street and guide people into empty spaces in hope of some spare change.  In general the people here are “big” – in all senses of the word – girth, height, big behinds – not necessarily fat, just big.  A co-worker told me that to be thin or too thin is not a sign of success and also makes people wonder what is wrong with you due to the AIDs epidemic.  That would not be a current concern with my appearance thanks to having sold all of my kitchen appliances five weeks before I left and having to eat out.  Trust me, the Wino has been eating lots of salads and healthy alternatives to recover from that dangerous moment in history!  Especially salads as I’m not sure how often I will be able to enjoy them while in Mozambique where I was cautioned against eating anything I couldn’t clean myself or that didn’t exist behind the safety of a peel.  Being that I will most likely be walking a mile or so each way to work, I would prefer to avoid any emergency gastro-intestinal issues during my stroll to and from.  So, I’ll heed those warnings. 

I hope everyone had an enjoyable 4^th – I heard it was a rainy one back at home.  I’m off to accomplish a bit of work at the local café.  So until next time!

Drink of the afternoon – a sassy, chilled chardonnay 

Hillbillies, Winos and the Dark Continent - oh my!

Where does the time go?  ... what a year.  This time last year I found myself in Dubai and readying myself for another trip to Afghanistan.  That adventure completed, I returned home and had a slew of life challenging events.  The kind of challenges that really change a person and now, having come out the other end of that shit-storm wormhole, I'm finally feeling like the new and improved version of myself those difficulties may have been intended to create.  So... it was time for a job and a new adrenaline packed adventure.  I was able to combine both in this new position.  After many close flirtations with employment on the home front, I reluctantly accepted a position overseas.  I now see that this was certainly the thing to do!  I write this from South Africa where I am enduring an orientation before I actually depart for Mozambique to rein in the madness, get things under control and then close down a decade plus program.  This has become the Wino's "thing" - cleaning up and closing down... and it's certainly not for the feint of heart.  I can sum up the myriad of reasons that many programs close in one word - fraud.  While I cannot name the organization I am performing my magic for, I will say there are a few employees awaiting my stewardship in Mozambique who will not be happy campers after I arrive.  That said, I'm ready to put some lipstick on this pig and combine as much fun and life experience as I can with the necessary grind of work duties!  It's Africa after all.

I'm into day three of work, the cruel mistress that is jet lag and being a punchy drunky from a horrifying lack of sleep.  The trip here was without incident except for a small delay into Atlanta that caused me to miss a greatly anticipated beer with my brother who also happened to be passing though.  While not able to upgrade to business class, the nearly 16 hour flight crammed into economy was endurable and without any major incidents, smelly seat mates or obnoxious children in my vicinity - so it was pretty damn good.  My arrival in Johannesburg also went smoothly and the nearly 45 minute trip to Pretoria was spent enjoying sunset and the smell of bonfire due to controlled grass burns that are apparently popular this time of year.  The hotel is nice, close to work and in an area that has been deemed "safe" by my coworkers.  Someone on my floor is smoking the bejesus out of weed so that wafts through the hallways in the evenings. Bars, restaurants, coffee shops and a nice amount a street activity thanks to the University have made lunch and early evenings pretty enjoyable - once I can stay up past 8pm I'll let you know about the night life!  Planning to hit some live music and open markets this weekend - all right around the corner. English is very popular here and the people extremely friendly so for now I'm meeting new people, getting settled in and preparing myself for Maputo at the end of next week.

View from hotel

Another view from my hotel room - Pretoria, SA

Mozambique is going to be quite an experience and one that I'm very much looking forward                                                                      to immersing myself.  I'll be alert by then as well and ready to knock this project out!  I still don't have an apartment there so I will be in a hotel for the time being until something satisfactory can be located - this might be tricky on an NGO budget in a city where the property prices are continually increasing thanks to the oil and gas industry. By mid-August the Wino's new "special friend" will be joining me for a few months to partake in an African adventure and a much needed break from the stresses of existing back home - we don't speak Portuguese, but what the hell, right?  The new friend was the one major bright spot in the past year, so I'm very much looking forward to having someone to share my experiences - especially this particular someone.  My coworkers seem to like Mozambique as a country, but are completely stressed out over the project.  This assignment appears to pale in comparison to the nightmare that I was involved in during my last trip to Afghanistan. While I know it will be tricky work, I am shockingly absent of any nervousness or anxiousness regarding what I am about to do - and that's such a great feeling.  Could it be that the knowledge of the distinct lack of explosions, gunfire and radical Muslims just may have calmed me the hell down?! Yep.

This is short and sweet, but what do you expect after a year of no blogging :)  Good things are on the horizon and I'm simply just looking forward to discovering them.  Thanks to Katie and family for taking on Django and Fat Kid Ninja during my departure and also to an excellent group of friends for your support and fun send-off. Cheers to Africa and the next six months.  Happy 4th everyone!!

Drink of the night - A South African Pinotage - delicious!