Road is a road is a road.

What an extremely busy past couple of days!  Things here are really picking up as the surge approaches and it's screwing up my fun - no gym, sleep or decent food lately and it's taking a toll my friends.  I would kill someone for fresh veggies that I had not seen earlier be touched by other's bare hands or the vacationing fly.  I feel like a slug and the heat doesn't help!  Maybe I simply am anxious to get out of this place for two entire weeks, but I've got to come up with a new program!

I really don't have anything new to add to the blog today.  After this past weekend's events, I am pretty much tuckered out but finally not so jumpy.  We have all been on edge a bit but it's getting back to normal here.  People are just astounded at what we've read on-line or lack thereof - the reporting was wildly inaccurate and downplayed the entire situation if it was even reported at all.  Really quite interesting and makes you wonder what's going on behind the scenes.  I am thankful, however, to know how the contestants are doing on Dancing with the Stars and that Kim Kardashian once used Botox - truly fascinating stuff.

I just realized that this weekend is Memorial Day Weekend!  At home, I really look forward to this weekend and the official beginning of summer.  Cookouts, fun with friends and family.  I don't know what they do here - maybe pretend it doesn't happen or something.  We work and then get paid extra, so I will celebrate that while vacationing in a few weeks.  I found myself greatly envying my friend here who has a horrible dental issue that is causing him great pain - he has to fly out for several days for dental treatment in Manas where he can drink the allotted 2 beers a day and even leave base to go into town!  Now that the coup is over in that country,  that could really be some fun!  I can't think of anything that's wrong with me to justify such a trip, but believe me I am thinking hard.  I hope I just didn't hex myself by typing that so I will try to correct any bad mojo by saying I am envious of a voluntary-or-minor-medical-issue trip out of here as everyday the possibility of something really nasty happening exists.  I would also like to go on record with the mojo gods by adding that I would not like malaria nor any poisonous bites.  This is kind of like a reverse Christmas list.

Tomorrow brings another trip off of base - if it's not cancelled as they have been quite often recently.  I am really anxious for this trip and looking forward to it.  I have been planning layouts of both bases without having seen them yet, so I am curious to see if what I am envisioning will work.  I'm getting pretty good at this so far and have even developed a kind of signature for my FOB design - now I know you may be expecting something spectacular that could possibly be seen from space, but that's a bit too fancy - and mature.  In addition to my unique approach to base layouts, I try to spell low-brow words with my roadways and building spacing.  Think back to the early days of the  calculator ... these are my little messages to the Taliban, but since they don't have planes (unless they borrow someone else's) they will never really enjoy my nuggets of insight spelled out in road.  Nothing says I Hate You, like "EAT ASS" in road (thank you hilly terrain).  This feat is made much easier by the fact that our land agreements rarely end up as squares or rectangles.  Enough said about that.  Oh yea, here's my new "international" number - hint; its written in "beghilos"...

Well, I hope you all have a wonderful Holiday weekend and get to enjoy and abundance of fruits an fresh veggies minus the Sally Struther's Army.  It is Memorial Day and therefore somewhat of a somber occasion, but still a 3-day vacation nonetheless!  I will be over here in the hero factory trying to do my small part while simultaneously day-dreaming of steaks on the grill.  I hope everyone has a safe and fun upcoming weekend!

Drink of the night - an Ice Coffee, minus the ice - but chilled in the fridge!

An Unusual Saturday Night

Hello all!  As many of you may know, or not, Kandahar Air Field was attacked last night for several hours.  I'm never sure what makes the news, but what I did see on-line did not even come close to what was going on here.  I'm certain that's purposeful and a combination of tactics to quell the Taliban and a decreasing focus domestically on this cluster-&%)#.  I don't mind saying that while outwardly calm, I was extremely freaked by what was happening.  I had an evening meeting with some military bigwigs to plan battalion placement for the surge - yes, it is interesting.  However, that meeting put me in a bad location when the rocket attacks started and they were exploding all around us - one as close as roughly 50 - 70 yards.  And yes, when things like that happen that close to you, your business end does pucker with fear!  The good thing was that I was the only civilian with about 20 armed military personnel, holed up in an incredibly hot, dark bunker for roughly 4 and a half hours.  Things were on fire, people running around with guns and threatening those who didn't identify themselves, the Bond-girl speaker alerts announcing "ground attack" and "serious situation", planes and helicopters overhead firing - it was really too much.  Then there would be a lull for awhile, followed by more rocket attacks.  The news said the Taliban was stopped from entering the base, but that's not what I heard from command which was more like perimeter breaches in at least 3 areas.  That was the most frightening aspect - them on the ground and within the base - it's so dusty and was even more so after the rockets and fires that there was no way they could have been easily seen.  So, finally we were allowed to leave the bunkers and head back - on top of all of it, I am also battling an intestinal issue that's been making it's way through our compound - that, combined with nerves and lack sleep  has made the Hillbilly one exhausted, sick puppy.  Thank goodness for a small library of horrible disaster movies!  I would be interested in what you hear there on the news - the most detailed information I found was in the European press reports.  So three, serious attacks in 1 week (and yes, Bagram was much worse than what was reported, but not as nasty as last night) - this is getting critical here.  Scary business here folks and today there's kind of a lock-down.  No leaving your area without  your helmet and kevlar vest.  Which is fine by me since I feel like poo and even my elbows and toes ache from this bug I have.  Thailand is in just a few weeks so that thought makes me feel a hundred times better!

This is short because I'm simply just really spent and run down.  Also kind of in disbelief at the events of last evening.  I am filthy, covered with a layer of dust and dirt after marinating in sweat for hours and crawling around in a bunker - and completely do not give a shit - tired and sick wins over impeccable hygiene today.  I hope you all are enjoying the weekend!  Be safe in all you do.

Drink of the Day - clear liquids and peptobismal

In the name of all things Holy...

Sweet Baby Jesus - the A/C in my living quarters is out!! It's almost unbearable, but I do have cold things to drink and a bright and cheery attitude...  I was in the middle of a tirade at the cruelty of nature and the failings of technology when there was a knock on the door and the HVAC guy appeared - armed, of course.  It's so nasty and hot here that the wires in the unit have melted.  Good Lord!  If I don't move around too much I can almost stand it.  The alternative is to sleep in the transient tent which is similar to sitting on the toilet seat at a Greyhound bus station  - and most likely not going to happen.  I will push on, but will definitely be sleeping on top of the covers tonight.

I received a wonderful box from the Kennedy clan today - full of great things that included a box set of some of the worst disaster movies ever made - they are so bad that they're brilliant and I am absolutely loving them.  It's a collection of where your career ends up if you drink and drug too much, age poorly, don't sleep with the right people or any combination of the aforementioned.  I've watched 2 of them so far and it's like the magic answer to "what ever happened to so-and-so" ...  Judd Nelson, Kim Delany, Dean Cain ... well played Kennedys!  There were some Shirley Temple classics included as well which will be a fabulous compliment to the disaster films.  Fabulous!  I am going to enjoy these all night, complete with the popcorn you sent and lay here in my oven of a room, wondering how Beau Bridges ended up in one of these films.

So today, I may have mentioned, was hot - if I could take a picture of heat I would, just so that I could post it here.  It was also very busy and disorganized as things are with military endeavors - I was just about to pull a "Daddy went out for cigarettes and never came back" when we began to discuss how to make the summer here more like it would be at home.  For example, how do we procure meat to throw on the grills that are right outside of our work tents?  What could we scrounge to concoct a marinade?  Can you find a cooler and if so, where can we find ice?  How many fake beers does it take to get a slight buzz?  I'm certain that if I had a prisoner pen pal that I could answer every single one of these questions. "How I spent my summer" projects - and poker - just might be the key to dealing with what is shaping up to be an HVAC-melting next few months.  An active imagination is a wonderful thing and those of you who know me well, know that I can imagine myself out of almost anything - I can also make the best out of almost any situation - additionally, sarcasm and brazen ignorance have gotten me far and I hope can continue to keep me afloat.  Right now I'm imagining how much worse it would be to be forever associated with the film "10.5 Apocalypse" than risking heat exhaustion in Afghanistan!

Now for a few events deserving of a shout out. Happy Birthday tomorrow Deirdre and I hope it's a good one!  One more week Ang and your nemesis will have moved out while you move on - cue the happy music!  Also, congratulations to Mary and Brad on their recent nuptials!  I hope everyone is doing well and enjoying the season change.  Tomorrow is Bazaar day and I'm planning on making the most of it.  Enjoy the weekend!

Drinks of the night - cold water, green tea, cold fake beers, Chrystal Carrington Light (cold) and an ice pack.

Heat Miser

It's War!  My sinuses, and those of my co-workers, have declared war on the country of Afghanistan!  In an area that's largely beige, it's amazing that there would be anything to actually inflame one's sinus cavities - but it's brutal!  There's also the malaria issue - where do the mosquitos come from because there's no water visible to anyone.  These are issues that will most assuredly remain a mystery.  It was 114 degrees today and it's only May.  If you are wondering what 114 degrees is like, well it's soul-sucking heat - but thankfully dry heat.  It's almost hot enough to suck the air out of your lungs, but it will get hotter!  I cannot wait to see what 120 is like ...  Everyone was sick today and I think it was all heat related.  It's been around a 100 for a few weeks, but today was different and you could see it in how everyone looked and moved.  Thankfully, my trip today was postponed so I was spared walking around for hours in the sun.  Tomorrow though, is another day and another trip, so I doubt I will be so fortunate twice.

The other interesting issue is that we are hitting around the 4 month mark of our contract - I'm only at 3, but many others are at 4.  This is the magic number mark - the point of no return - the I-can't-take-it-anymore stage of this year long adventure.  There's obviously a good reason that so many contracts have generous leave benefits (not ours) and every 4 months, there comes a 2 week R&R.  It's because you hit your absolute limit of deprivation at 4 months.  I know I can feel it starting - whatever you do to make this work begins to wear thin and not work so well anymore.  You start thinking too often about your family, friends, significant others - your home, bed, cooking, wine, pets, what it's like to roam freely,  walking to the bathroom in your bare feet, how free time feels, an entire night's sleep, no sound of gunfire or rocket sirens ... the list goes on and on.  I even miss driving - on paved roads that is.  I was sitting yesterday waiting for my flight and I was in an area where I could actually see traffic drive by - I felt like a cat who finally accessed a window - it was a whole other world than what I see day in and day out - which is basically tents, dirt, and vast stretches of sniper-cover along the fences - which means that I see nothing but a green tarp that covers the fencing.  We are enclosed in it and located at a remote corner of the base - there are tons of things around you, but you don't see it unless you leave the compound.  I've become a bunker monkey because of it - I climb things constantly just to see something bigger than where I am.

Today was much calmer around here than the last couple.  I think the edge caused by all of the attacks has softened and people were more focused on being consumed by the heat than being attacked.  I am hoping the A/C holds up and am thankful it's finally night time and therefore cooling down just a little.  I saw that it was a perfect 75 at home today ... as I like to tell my Mother ... it all seems overwhelming at times and then I look at my checkbook...  I can be hot and go without!  When you are on the FOBs and directly with the troops who are actually out in the middle of the bullshit, you quickly get over yourself and all of your perceived hardships.  On my worst day here I live better than 98% of this country's population - and most of the infantry!  And - there's ice cream.

Drink of the night - a cold fake beer, in honor of the real one I'm going to be enjoying in about 6 weeks!

There's Something in the Air...

Good Day!  Things have been a lit-tle crazy around here the last day or so and I'm thankful I still have an internet connection.  Our access to the outside can get quite limited when things heat up around here.  A friend emailed me the news article about the bombing in Kabul yesterday and then last night during my meeting a rocket hit down the street and took out a laundry facility.  This morning it was an attack on Bagram and then I flew this afternoon to a small outpost in Kandahar that was attacked a few days ago.  What's so crazy is that there's no point in worrying because it's seriously a case of wrong place, wrong time around here.  There's nothing to avoid so there's little ability to "be safe."  The randomness is what makes it so unsettling.  They literally leaned a motorbike against the wall of the outpost and blew it up and the rest of them scurried through the hole like rats ... and were promptly exterminated.  It's the number of issues in such a short time period that has everyone so on edge - weird vibe around here today.  But as long as CNN continues with reports of the exact number of checkpoints and outposts we're planning in Kandahar City, the better prepared they will be in attacking us there (here is Kandahar City from the air).

On a different note, I am happy to report that rudeness, arrogance and myopic vision exist with equal fervor in both the military and corporate world.  I sit in decision-making meetings where I am utterly amazed at the bureaucratic nonsense.  This, thankfully, is tempered by the many seriously funny people I attend these with - last night, one of my favorite people here did his impersonation of the Afghan version of Rick James he had recently encountered at a check point.  He did the Dave Chappel, "I'm Rick James, Bitch" but in Pashto and I thought I was going to have a heart attack from trying not to laugh.  I guess you had to be there, but it was incredibly entertaining.  This was during a 3 and a half hour meeting, after a 12 hour day, and a hit-the-deck during the meeting because of the rocket attack that landed just down the street.  You enjoy all the levity you can after days like that.  These can get so long, boring and stressful that you have to find ways to entertain yourself.  I like to people watch which led to noticing several strong candidates for heart bypass operations - you know the look... purple faced guys, with guts that resemble two large animals participating in a cage fight.  All I can say is that the meeting was educational on many different levels and I left with concern for several of the attendees!

The recent tone of the Hillbilly Wino has been one that points - desperately - to the author needing a good, long vacation.  I am hoping with all the energy I can muster, that Thailand gets itself together in time for my arrival.  As long as the airport stays open I will be happy - I hate to admit that not only does the unrest there pale to what goes on here, but I am also totally not caring about the political and social reasons behind it - I just want to enjoy the beach, food and many beverages.  Does that make me a horrible person?  Probably-  and also very out of character for me.  I hope the experience here isn't changing me for the worse!

I was at a small post in Kandahar today and in the middle of all the crumbling buildings was this beautiful rose garden that one of the Afghan residents had planted and was tending.  Many of the bases and posts are joint coalition bases so the Afghan troops - and often their families - live there too.  In every single one I've been to, there's been a beautiful garden of some sort - kind of a reminder of what the country used to look like before all of the war, the Taliban, the Ruskies, etc.  It's amazing what a little greenery can do to improve one's outlook!  The Wino will be taking the show on the road for the next several days, but will post again as soon as possible - and hopefully something more uplifting and "light".  Until then, let's hope things don't get too out of hand around here.  These outposts also have real ice cream for some reason, which is a HUGE big deal in this heat - and tasty too.  It's always exciting to have something good to anticipate and I'm anticipating...Strawberry Cream!  I hope you all have a wonderful remainder to your week.

Drink of the night - peach flavored tea mix in my bottled water...