The Hillbilly is working on an amazing and exotic farmer's tan here in the desert. Yesterday I stood on a hot, helicopter tarmac for a few hours waiting for my flight to be cancelled and watching all kinds of aircraft take off. This resulted in an even darker tan on the few areas that are actually exposed -meaning the contrast is even more frightening in the shower! I have not had the pleasure of a full length mirror in months and the largest one I have found is in the bathroom and just big enough to view your own, fat head. You don't burn, you just tan - it's as if the ground is even cooking you - you don't realize how dark you actually are getting because the dust and sand are always clinging to you just enough to tone it down - makes for an excellent dirt ring in the shower! I'm certain to resemble the old version of Georgia O'Keefe when I return ... or at least my face will look like one of those bleached out, steer skulls. Can a combo of Clinique and Bare Minerals take care of even that?
Today will hopefully go pretty fast - Saturdays make it difficult for me to concentrate because I can't wait for my one day off. I have not yet experienced the Afghan, Saturday Bazaar here and am in desperate need of pirated, newly released movies. I also need to send some new gift boxes of tragic and mesmerizing junk home to the family and friends - lots of things from the Russian occupation and a mish-mash of whatever weird, collectibles fell off a truck someplace - I know my mother would simply LOVE the tea set with all of the Kama Sutra positions graphically illustrated on the pieces - why I didn't snag that thing when I first saw it is beyond me - it was hideous in the most glorious of ways! Plus I would dare someone to look you in the eye while you were drinking out of the tea cup - how could your eyes not be drawn to the graphic, Asian-style renderings on the actual cups - or at least averted in an uncomfortable, Catholic-esque shame! - this may go down as a tragically missed opportunity... I dare you to now enjoy your tea, knowing that your cups could have sexual positions displayed on them, but in fact, do not! How Greek!
Here's a brief update on Menno Paws - he's still alive an well and apparently even healthier after all of the PB&J he's eaten out of the traps - none of which has tripped. I saw Menno on several occasions and although he's not huge, he did have some size to him. I must be doing something wrong with those traps - I just hope that peanut butter constipates the little bastard for a few days so that I can have a break from the daily, single poop he keeps making on my bed. I'm ready to rotate into my high thread-count sheets (thanks Mom). This is something I look forward to every couple of weeks. The anticipation helps me pass the time here, waiting for those sheets, in particular, to hit my sheet changing cycle. My other sheets are cheap and feel that way, so the one set I have that are really nice are something to be savored ... and don't want mouse poo ruining my overall experience.
I am also totally aware that some of the issues I discuss on this blog may seem and sound totally insane, but I kid you not - the smallest, most mundane issues keep you grounded and it's amazing what you will do to pass time here. It's also amazing at what can almost break people - I witnessed a grown man almost in tears because someone had taken his two-hole punch - this was one of the construction managers and he had even written his name on the damn thing. But I oddly understood the implied violation of such an act and the need to carve out what is yours while being locked down in a camp, with not much personal space or boundaries. So I promptly hid my coveted red pencils...
Drink of the day - hot coffee since it's really early in the morning here!
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