Alrighty - last week when I was so excited for my day off I ended up only enjoying about 2 hours of it and then being deathly ill for a few days. So this week I will be cautiously optimistic and hope for the best. I am drinking a non-alcoholic Becks beer which quite honestly isn't that delightful and tastes like High School - those were the days of Little Kings and Mickey's Big Mouths - neither of which were any good, but it sure was a hell of a great time. It's also a bit like trying to enjoy turkey bacon - it looks like something I like and kind of tastes like it, but you are basically headed for heartache and disappointment. I still don't believe that anyone seriously enjoys turkey bacon or in particular, turkey pepperoni - it's simply just not the real deal ... much like this near beer.
On our way to making the tee times for minefield golf with the detection and detonation guys, a co-worker and I stopped for some quick shopping. I loaded up on these DVDs they sell over here for $2-3 - some are copies of screening DVDs sent to critics and reviewers, and some are simply shot in the movie theater - for some reason this whole situation cracks me up - I'm watching these one my laptop anyway so the quality doesn't really matter. When I finally get home I will most likely be blinded by actual HD programming and noticing that so-and-so actually has eyebrows and other facial features. I will definitely send my burgeoning collection home for all of you to enjoy. I am forgetting that people on the screen don't actually stand up in front of the screen or eat popcorn during normal DVD viewing enjoyment - this experience goes hand in hand with the fact that the military TV channel programming doesn't seem to have correctly synced the audio with the visual - the effect is similar to watching those old Godzilla movies on Saturday afternoons - the lips move, but the words don't match. So basically every form of viewing entertainment is a bit "third world". On top of all of this - I am for some reason forgetting how to spell.
A friend here made the mistake of showing me a pocket watch he bought from one of the Afghani janitorial workers in our office - I absolutely MUST have one. It's a commemorative Chairman Mao watch and when you open it up, Mao's arm ticks back and forth. If you know me at all, you know I am mesmerized by Asian dictators - even naming my beloved cat, Chairman Meow - seconded only by the evil Pol Pot (which doesn't make for a good pet's name, but is great for referencing the resident office or neighborhood a-hole). Yesterday the same janitor had attempted to sell me a fake Rolex while I was in the bathroom - they are unisex - I walked in and passed this poor man dealing with a toilet bowl full of trouble. He had blue plastic gloves on and he stops in the middle of what had to be an absolutely revolting task to take the same blue gloved hands and remove a literal arsenal of Rolex knock-offs from his pockets. Don't worry, NONE of you will be getting any of these poo poo watches in the mail as gifts. I kindly declined only to later find out about the Mao pocket watches - so I had to chase the same guy down today to put in a request - he doesn't really speak English, so I wonder what he'll end up bringing me. And yes, I will have an industrial supply of Purell antibacterial gel on hand just in case. Oh yea, I do actually accomplish work during the day and don't just shop while in the bathroom and make dates to drive balls into minefields with the "Hurt Locker" team - it's just not that interesting yet because my trip out to my first site keeps being postponed so my actual work hasn't really kicked in -- I'm basically just helping out on maps and some Power Point presentations right now until I leave.
I am off to enjoy what I refer to as my "Franken-films" - those messed up, monstrous DVDs I am loving so much.
Drink of the night - non-alchy Becks with a splash of attitude!
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